Just call me tang, the asian slayer... The God of all fellow asian brothers out there... The people's champion.

Now I wish i could actually remember all the details of my conquest but i was super drunk and am therefore a little hazy on some details but ill try to tell you what i remember. So i was at a uni ball and i see this asian girl talking to my friend so I go up and say hey and realise that id met her before. The night that i had met her I had been at a free drinks event put on by some business group at uni and she had made a comment about how i kept taking two beers each time i went up to the bar, she said it in a very demeaning way and as a result i felt super self conscious about my freebee abusing ways. Apparently i haven't changed though as i spent literally an hour just standing at the bar last night downing beverages. there were like 3-4 crates with pre mixed drinks already there that were all done with coke, so they obviously all looked the same and i had been there so long that everytime someone came up to ask which drink was which i was able to tell them whether it was bourbon, scotch or rum.

Anyway back to my story, so i started giving her shit for her hurtful comment from the first time i met her and she apparently dug the whole 'treat em mean keep em keen' style that i was throwing her way. Tiring of my own smack talk I went off on my merry little way to just chill with my crowd, hanging out at my beloved bar, falling over on the dancefloor, getting back up only to fall straight over again...you know, just impressing people with my shit. Then later in the night it mustve suddenly hit me that i should really just finish this bet right then and there so i find her on the D floor say something to her not sure what but it seemed to do the trick and we were soon doing our thang. I bailed on her or she bailed on me not sure which, we'll just assume i bailed on her and i walked straight out to my friends just hi fiving the shit out of everyone. Apparently i was also hugging anyone and everyone as i was ridiculously happy with myself...naturally. I'm sure it was pretty amusing stuff.

So yeh I've done it....good game me!!! I'm not really sure what ill blog about from now on, it seems my life can only go downhill from here. But maybe ill come up with some new goal and allow you guys to come along for the ride through the power of my written word.

Ok Tangs for Reading!

P.S princess donk, you're still my no.1

So it's official, Princess Donk wants my babies. Being super awesome I've managed to impress only one fem with my blogs and she happens to live all the way out in Vegas. Good game Tang.

Zarolla, I'm not sure what you think of Brisbane but it obviously isn't much. Believe it or not but we do have about 1 million people residing here and a high percentage of them are Asian. Anyway, you sound a little scary with your crowbar to the knee antics so i may just pass on joining you in Sydney. Although i do dig your 'jizz in my pants' line and if you happen to drive a Merc I'm willing to change my mind and let you be my wingman....I too share your love for half casts.

Now, if you don't care for my little bitch about fulltilt support just skip to the end. This note is specifically for friends who have no idea about poker.

So regarding Fulltilt, I made a second acct about 3 months ago because i didn't have rakeback, was in a downswing and felt that i should minimise my losses as much as possible. Before anyone cares to give me shit I obviously know this isn't right but i wasn't ever intending to use my old account again and didn't feel like i was cheating anybody at all. I had only played 500 sngs on this acct (i had been playing on PS previously) so its not like anyone had any comprehensive stats on me. You can rag me if you want, not really fussed. Anyway fulltilt worked out that i had made a second account so they banned my latest one. They then told me I could request to send my money to my old account, which i obviously did. Thats understandable and fair enough, rules are rules. But they then banned my old account saying they had found out about my even older and original account, which was actually my friend, seans account. Sean had sent me money on occasions from his account and as his was made before mine they must've assumed that i had made that as well. So they not only banned my two accounts but they also banned seans account and then to top it off a few of our other friend's accounts as well.

This may be a little confusing but basically Fulltilt support is currently the bane of my existence. I spent hours sending emails trying to sort things out and continue to get these generic emails that fail to answer my actual questions or show any understanding of my explanations for my actions. So far they've reopened my old account but haven't yet sent me my money. I've been craving poker so much that i've had to resort to playing 10 buck double or nothings on PS with the 30 bucks i left on there when i moved over to FT. woohoo.

I understand that i deserve the closing of my latest acct as it's obviously against the rules but Full Tilt needs to seriously sort out their support system. It pretty much seems like they have 10 emails which they will pick and choose from based on which one seems to be the most relevant to the questions they are asked. For example, Sean had sent an email trying to back me up explaining that he had made his account, that I wasn't a part of it and they therefore shouldn't close down my account. An hr later sean gets an email not acknowledging anything he's said but now telling him that HIS account is closed and that he has to send in forms to identify himself. This is after they have reopened my account as i have shown who i am meant to be through certain id so why did they then choose to close his one down? He had to write another email which was replied to by 4 different support staff and then another 5 emails from him to get it all sorted out. FU Fulltilt support.

I know lots of other people have gone through this shit with Fulltilt and its nothing new. I'm only bothering to tell you all this because it means that i may have to start blogging under a new name so that i can still be a Card Runners member for free. No fear my beloved readers, you will recognise me because ill still have my 'Search for An Asian Girl' title as I've made very little progress in this quest. FML. However, Ive got a ball tomorrow night and I'm hoping this is where i shall make my mark on one lucky girl, or at the very least have some good stories to make up for this shit blog. Which i am very apologetic for.

Ok, Good luck me.

Tangs for reading.

Princess Donk, you rock my world! If you come to Australia we should defs hang sometime. even if you don't wanna get with me, we can go eat fried rice together or something equally as cool.


Ok tangs for reading!

Hey, it's me Tang,

A few days ago i was reading some forums on 2+2 and they were just old ones about degenerates running up their bankrolls from like 500 bucks to 80k in a week and then losing it all. It was mostly just entertaining reading these stories but it also got me thinking about how greedy our society is. I mean surely you'd assume that these people would have had a preconceived goal from the start and when they hit it at like the 20k mark just sat back and thought, 'wow this is awesome! Maybe i should take some money out, buy some cool stuff and just grind at lower stakes but still make decent money'. Instead they obviously kept going and got up to 80k, dropped about 20k of that which is still way higher than what they could have possibly imagined but still thought 'shit i just lost 20 thousand, gotta get that back asap!' and then they just continued with that mentality until they went broke.

Now these guys are degens so i cant really say that everyone would have the same state of mind concerning money but i would say a lot of us are like that when we reach a goal. We barely ever take the time to appreciate what we've achieved or bask in that happiness for very long. Instead we just find a higher goal and aim for that. For example, if you were to spend a super huge amount of hrs trying to conquer bowser in some form of Mario game and you finally achieved it after 5 weeks of zero sleep and disgusting amounts of red bull (note: do not drink that stuff straight after brushing teeth, taste is horrible). How long would you be happy for? Would you be as happy as you thought youd be during those marathon sessions when you're fantasising about the joys of finally defeating the game? My guess would be no and that you'd only feel satisfied for a day or two before you found a new game and focused on that.

This may not have been the best example because it isn't the most productive goal but my point is that even when we succeed at something, more often than not instead of making us happy it just makes us want more. A single man works all his life to become rich forgoing all relationships and friends and then realises all he wants is a family... or the 15 yr old teenager finally gets a girl to kiss him and now all he wants to do is get her in bed. Instead of looking at what we have we tend to look at what we don't have and focus on that.

I know that ive personally gone through this. A yr ago the idea of risking a thousand bucks a day playing poker was just insane and i would've been in awe of anyone who could afford to do that. But now all i do is look at the guys who make like 500k a yr playing poker and just think 'why the fuck am i not doing that?'

I think this kind of outlook is in some way a result of us always being told that it's good to have goals... to have ambition. That it is a positive thing to always strive to achieve something more. But what if we weren't like that, can't we just be taught to be satisfied with what we have? If a middle aged man had worked at maccas for twenty years of his life flipping burgers but he was completely happy with what he did, should we feel sorry for him because he makes 20k a yr in a dead end job or should we actually be envious that he's achieved such contentment with his life?

I realise that ive made some big generalisations here and used some terrible examples to try to get my incoherent thoughts across. I also know that my line of thought is pretty unrealistic and that there would be serious issues for the future if everyone was completely content with their current lives. But i guess what I'm trying to say is that every once in a while stop comparing yourself to others, stop complaining and just stop wanting more because more likely than not there's someone else in the world wishing they had a life just like yours.

Ok Tangs for reading!

Hey all, Tang here

Ive just gotten home from what was one of the strangest nights ive ever had. the whole time i was just like omg omg omg, i am sooooooooooooo blogging this!

So i was out with a few mates having some beverages at the local bar at my uni. We were all pretty happily buzzed eating some burgers and playing some pool when we decided to go back to a mate's house. When we got there my friend saw his 57 yr old neighbour having a few drinks by himself so we decided to go join him. He turned out to be a pretty entertaining guy. He was using the the words 'fuck, shit, cunt' interchangably every three words whenever he tried to get the dogs attention. He even purposefully spilt some of his bourbon on his jeans to try and get the dog to lick it up. The he was telling us stories about how he picked up a girl on a plane and got a BJ from her, how his best experience in his whole life time was getting it off with 2 pros which cost him 1800 bucks, how to palm read and how its a real killer with the ladies... yeh right, a killer move with a girl you're paying for a shag ...may still give it a try though, after all im supposedly dead by the time im 70 according to him. Only got 50 more yrs to live, i gotta get a move on.

Dont get me wrong though, this is all really really strange to me. its not like i make a habit of hanging out with red necked 57 yr old men. But we were drunk and he was supplying the bourbon so i was actually having a pretty fun time, hearing these crazy and somewhat disturbing tales.

Then he makes some comment about his time with an asian girl and goes on to say how asian men dont treat girls very well...not exactly the most tactful thing to say to an asian guy but i decided to let it slide, knowing full well that i wasnt going to get anywhere arguing about how to treat a girl properly with a guy who gets his rocks off with prostitutes . Anyway, i look over to my right a few minutes later and somehow after sitting there for 2 whole hrs I realise there is a white supremacy flag hanging proudly on the freaking wall! Hooooooly shit!!!!!

At the time i wasnt completely sure what it was so i turn over to my mate Mike who was way more out of it than i was at the time and i was like "DUDE, is that flag what i think it is!!!!!???" trying to whisper it as quietly as possible but at the same time convey the awe and shock i had felt after seeing the flag and he came out with some stupid response like "i dunno, its probably some european flag". Mikes drunkeness consequently meant i just had to wait until i got back to his house to google it and i had to keep my cool until then. But lo and behold, white supremacy was the title of the flag.

In all honesty i wasnt surprised to find out that ol PJ next door was a wannabe KKK member. From the start i kindve just accepted the guy was really uneducated and totally ignorant. Just amazing that he can put something like that up on his wall and showcase it so obviously and proudly.

Tangs for reading!

Hey there, I'm Tang and totes sorry, this post has nothing to do with boobs. just wanted a provocative title to get you guys reading about my wonderful life

So I was just walking home from uni talking to some friends about personal hygiene and how psychological it is. Like how you don't really care that the greasy looking guy preparing your kebab is doing it with his bare hands as long as you don't have to see it. Anyway, it brought me back to an event that happened a few weeks ago...

I was at home starting off the day by making myself a delicious toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, the breakfast for champions (little hint - put butter on the outside of the bread and bam! Absolute heaven). However, when I spun around to take it over to the table, my breakfast had lost friction with the plate and fallen on the ground. Without even thinking I swooped on it straight away (well within the 10 second rule obviously) and chowed that tasteful delight down in record time....nom nom nom!

Whilst I thought nothing of my actions that day, now that it's been brought to my attention, I question what has happened to my standards. Once upon a time I used to be the kind of kid who after dropping food on the ground would throw it out. No matter if it was half a packet of biscuits or my favorite candy, 'hygiene beats hunger' was little tang's mantra. I even went through some messed up stage where I wouldn't turn off taps in public toilets. My theory was that when people would turn on a tap they would be placing the germs on said tap, wash their hands and then touch the tap again to turn it off, thus picking up the germs once again. You all probably think im some health freak but whatever, in my opinion that was some pretty insightful thinking for a 10 yr old. Like i realise that i wasted water but I figure that someone less paranoid about their personal hygiene would come along and turn off the tap not long after id used it. I obviously should have just used a paper towel to turn off the tap but who cares about the environment when effort is involved? jks...kindve. Laziness has always ruled my life (forgive me poker god) but im making more of an effort to recycle these days, so that makes up for it right? Unfortunately though, here in Brisbane we're in a drought (my bad) and we're on water restrictions. So picking up my old habit again would make me feel pretty guilty. Thank god a lot of taps these days have sensors or the push ones that go for like 5 seconds before turning off.

So I still don't know why things changed for me during high school. Maybe I felt that by eating the extra food I would grow more (I didn't) or I needed to strengthen up my immune system (I don't think this happened either, I got sick way more often in high school than primary). I'm not really sure why im talking about this but I think ill make a concerted effort to stop eating things off the floor from now on. It disturbs me my 10 yr old self was more disciplined than I am now.

Next blog ill actually tell you guys a thing or two about me and my poker life
Ok cya,
Tangs for reading!

hey guys,

After my last blog i figured id run super good in poker. I didn't. Going through my worst streak ever. fuck my life. Even still, ive decided to take an optimistic outlook to this downswing. I figure if i cant run well in poker ill just run well at life. I also figure i can choose what field ill do well in.

For a long time mates have considered me a bit of a banana, you know yellow on the outside but white on the inside. Just because i cant speak chinese and im not great at maths, big deal...im a shit driver, i use the peace sign in 99% of photos and i dig hello kitty. That counts right? Regardless, ive decided it's time that i up my cred. it's time to get productive and do something with my life. it's time to get with an asian.

Now me and a friend have had a 10 buck bet for a while about who would get with an asian bird first. Since i seem to lose a bajillion times more than that each time i try and play poker of late, the measly monetary gain gives me zero incentive to win this bet. So i figure if i blog about the journey it will mean im accountable to my legion of cyber fans and thus will have the drive to achieve my goal in fear of ridicule and embarrassment.

So if you're a semi attractive asian girl above 16 who lives in Australia and for some reason is reading my blog give me a call, email me, stalk me, whatever. I promise you a fun time. We can even cuddle or like play the Nintendo afterwards. Im a gentleman, i wont just throw you out. Im pretty open minded too so if you're into all kinds of freaky shit, thats cool. Ive got no problem hitting girls... In fact, you don't even have to have sex with me, a kiss is all im after. Ive got really succulent lips, Angelina jolie like so you may even enjoy it too. Admittedly my lips are a little dry right now with the change of weather but if you give me some warning ill go buy some of that paw paw lip balm all you girls swear by and ill be good to go in no time. By the way this isn't just a shout out to all asian girls, vanilla and chocolates are welcome too. Can't be goal orientated all the time can we? Plus I don't want to discriminate/i'm really easy.

Moving on now, Id like to finish with a bit of a bitch. I was flicking through youtube clips just before whilst writing this (see i can multi task...you know what that means ladies) and somehow came across the dragon ball trailer...ive seen the trailer before and i know the movies already out but i just realised how appalled i am by how they represented goku. Like its bad enough the film looks like absolute rubbish but why the fuck is goku white? WHAT.THE.SHIT. Goku is the epitome of what all Asian guys aspire to be. He has ridiculously sweet hair and has totally bad ass fighting skills. He is a freaking idol amongst my race. I'm not even that much of a fan of dragon ball but i have serious respect for goku. Its like getting Russell Crowe to play martin luther king, totally uncool. It's bad enough that jesus has been made out to be white (i'm not actually sure on this but im pretty certain ive read that jesus would've been hell darker than hes been depicted) but now Goku as a white guy???? As my mate kat said to me recently 'if it aint white it aint right'. Not wrong Katherine... not wrong.

Future parts will entail any silly rules i make for myself, short term goals and any relevant stories in my bid to get with an asian. Stay tuned, Good luck me.

Ok Tangs for reading!