Hi everyone, I haven't blogged much or bothered to do much because on Thursday, I had to put down my best friend, my babygirl, the love of my life Ava. I still can't believe it. AIHA (an autoimmune disease that acts like the opposite of AIDS) is so deadly and quick. Ava was a miracle. Less than 30% of dogs survive a second relapse. The vet and I talked that if the disease hit again, it would be time to put her down. I can't possibly make her go through all the IVs/blood transfusions/mental side effects again. Ava died at 3 1/2 years old. I was only able to know her for about two years.

I still can't believe she's gone. I've had to put down other dogs and even deal with close relatives deaths but to be honest, nothing has hit me like this. She was always my favorite but I never acted like it. Anyone who ever met her loved her. If she was a person, she would never have a mean thing to say or even a mean thought about anyone. Ava was always the passive one and let the others get treats or toys first. I remember when I first met Ava at the breeder's house, she had about 6 other Cavaliers from puppies to the champion alpha male. All the other dogs played with the other toys. All that was left for Ava was the old raggedy tennis ball. She would always only play with tennis balls after that and she played the best game of fetch ever because she always always brought the ball back and always always fetched it after you threw it.

More than that...my mom said that Ava was the quiet presence in my life and helped me transition through many major changes. When I got home late Tuesday night, I noticed she had an accident and was hoping that it wasn't because the disease was back. I actually have been taught to overmonitor her and check her constantly. She seemed still fine and we even played fetch for a bit. On Wednesday when I came home from grinding mtts, she had another accident and seemed sallow but she was still perky. Thursday morning, I called the vet and he told me to bring her in. In my heart, I feared the worst and possibly even knew because I brought my boy doggie with me. By the time I got to the vet (10 minute drive), Ava was not able to lift her head or walk and she was drooling nonstop. When the vet came in, he said he was sorry but that he didn't think he could do anything for her. I agreed to put her down as she seemed miserable. I had a few minutes to say goodbye and during this time, she musterd up what was last of her strength to stand up and nuzzle me and then she fell again. I knew it was time and Gamby made low whines the whole time the vet was there. I held Ava and watched her take her last breath. The hardest part was looking into her big beautiful brown eyes and realizing she was not with me anymore.

Anyway, I'm going to post my favorite Ava pics.

These first ones are actually taken by the breeder. I had been looking for a Cavalier for a long time. I even drove 2 1/2 hrs to see one that didn't work out or saw pictures that I didn't feel was the dog for me. When I saw her pics, I was in love immediately. I had always said that if I ever had a daughter, I'd name her Ava...so it seemed perfect that she was already named Ava.





Halloween this past year as Snow White. I typically don't dress up dogs but this was a doggie Halloween party. No one is more perfect as Snow White.




Sleeping away all comfy on the pillows she wouldn't let me throw out even tho they look horrible!


Most recent pic of Martin (Dodgyken) and the doggies on the couch. I just adore Ava's face.



Lastly, a song that makes me cry everytime I hear it because I think about Ava. Goodbye my love.

I just want to say my friends have been great through all this especially my poker friends! You guys have been super busy sending me extra funny links and messages even flowers making sure I'm ok. Thanks so much, dunno what I'd do without my friends :)