ive recently been on another pretty decent downswing and it's getting pretty depressing. losing 5-8k every month and then grinding it back is not a good way to play.

granted im making more than anyone my age and can afford whatever i want short off paying of my car and a balla apartment or anything more than a few k, but still. i should be making way more than this and am beginng to realize that im doing something wrong. this high variance/low expectation style can't continue forever and im getting sick of having several break even months in a row (i keep terribe records so im not even sure about these stats)

i see all of the guys i played 2/4 over the summer with at 3/6 and 5/10. i should be there too.

i have been reading the psychology of poker and watched the latest stoxpoker vid by hunter where he recommends playing low where you are not scared money and taking care of your body and mind.

so i wlll be joining a gym, working out regularly, sleeping and eating well, and as far as poker is concerned...

id like to be at 5/10 by summer. this is easily manageable if i play well and don't tilt while practicing good game selection. for now though ill be griding 200nl 6max. i will set a stop loss of 3 bi's so i dont tilt off when i have my 'nose opened.'

thats it for now. i know at least one other guy reads this blog so with this and for my own benefit i feel it is worthwile.

edit: also i think i need to stop fooling around in mac osx so much. i have a macbook with a dual boot system and playing on FTPs mac version prevents me from reviewing hands, keeping good records and playing 6max with pahud. and updating my blog often to stay in the right poker mood.

and not ever playing good players. and putting money above ego. this should stop me from tilting hopefully. god this is so scattered.

also with rgard to pysycholgy of poker, i need to learn to 'think visiby'. dont just do anything. make plays for a reason. only play when im on my best. when i start to check down the nuts IP that may be a good indicator of it being time to quit.

also, FFS, i need to talk to fucking girls. i have a 2.3k breitling watch, a new car and all kinds of balla shit and absolutely no condfidence. fuck confidence, i dont even want it. i want competence. damn i feel like ived been through this before. as bbver conspire says"

vicious circles

phobos

the only reason i called the river here was because all draws missed and i knew that he would probably overbet or pot it up with a J or 98 since this is what he has done in the past.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1552616

thats it for today, gl

and on another downswing hovering around 4.5-5k after just coming off of the biggest downswing of my life (7k) i feel like i am running bad but i know that my play has been sub par as well. i believe that i need to work on other areas of my life first before handling poker and things will come much more easily.

anyway, i plan to update this regularly in much the same way as cts did. this may not help any of my readers but i hope that it will allow me to foucs and improve.

when i first started watching aba vids i took the idea that he would play anyone hu to challenge himself too seriously and completely ignored game selection (before this i could have cared less about competition or being the best, i just wanted the money). now i realize that i will play tough players on a regular basis (at least in 6max) and can improve then. As far as my selection goes however I should be looking to play exclusively fish.

the last two hands big hands of the day from who is rumored to be devilfish. this is an example of the benefits of game seletion. you can play a nit for 3 hrs and make $40 or....

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1545380

im not sure how i feel about this hand. villain was unknown and my feeling was that he wouldn't limp a good Q and obv wouldnt raise a T. There are many draws and unless he has Q3, T3, etc which most players wouldn't limp, i am in decent shape.

then this hand put me on severe tilt. i feel as though the river is a clear shove since there is no way i can fold with the stack sizes and what's left behind. might as well force him to pay to showdown his worse hands and not allow him to just value bet the flush

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1545392