This weak is yet another example of my poker lows. Last week I lost about $1800 playing 5/10 PLO in a game where I couldn't help but shake my head at the winners (on the inside of course). To be fair, I gave away quite a bit in the game where I was second best but had been playing tight and continuation bet the flop. The raise from the shorter stack continued to price me in and viola! Stuck more than I could probably get back and the game breaks. That's why I hate playing in Lexington (home town) some times.

That was a sizeable chunk (read: nearly all) of my remaining bankroll. I am continually frustrated at how I do really dumb things with my money. It's not that I shouldn't be playing in that game, or that I can't take the swings. I just can't afford to keep putting such large chunks of myself up for grabs all the time. I HAVE to get some bankroll management in place before I yank all of my hair out.

My family is very worried about me as a gambler. I know this. I do spend a LOT of time playing and I am constantly doing "homework" or soemthing to do with poker, but I can't really help it. It's in my nature. I really need to hit a big score not only for me, but to prove once and for all that I am very capable of providing income doing what I love. I think the biggest reason for this is my dad, whom I have looked up to all of my life. I tried to explain to him after coming back from New Orleans (broke and on the coat tails of a $6K loss) that what I do is not irresponsible or wreckless (and that's true as far as my playing style and treating the game as a business) but it is when I take all of the money that I have and try to hit a homerun with it. It's just sick really. I know he's reall disappointed in me as of late and what I wouldn't give to turn that attitude around. He and my mom have done so much for me over the years.

It's hard to believe that I won $7K in a tournament just a few weeks ago and it's gone. To be fair, I cashed out $5200 and proceeded to pay off some bills and gave like a grand to my wife, but still, over $1K went to that Omaha loss (I took $500 and turned that into a few grand by playing 2-5 live every day and used it for living expenses and the like and took $1100 to the game sunday and took my last 700 our of paytru to come back and reload) Anyway, most of that was lost playing Omaha and most of the time I was like 60/40 fav. going into the turn/ river from flop all-in and just get stacked. I can honestly say that it's been variance and not poor play that has been eating me lately. I just don't have the BR for Omaha right now and when I lose two buyins I don't get up (you're not supposed to, I know) but when it's not getting any better, maybe a guy should just take a hint.

After I went broke my friend gave me $400 to go and play a live game before I went to Caesar's for the Denny Crumb invitational. I haven't lost playing hold'em live in.....gah. I dunno. I had a small loss a few months back when said friend and I went to play 1/2 NL (I lost like $300 I think) but other than that it's been over 5 months. Anyway, that night I ran that into $1000 and made another $340 before getting to bed after I arrived at Caesar's. I had my buyin paid for the $330 and got a room with my winnings, collected $140 from a friend who owed me money and viola! Back in business!

So after busting from the tourney the next day (2K starting chips, blind structure = uber gay) I sat to play.....you guessed it! 1/2/5 PLO. I can honestly say that except for my last hand I got my money in very solidly in this game. I remember three hands for over $500 (and one for $1K) pots where I was 80/20 on the flop. Ouch! My last $220 I put in with Jc10c8d7d vs AA2J and K82A for a three way pot where the flop was paired (443 I think) and I was drawing almost dead. (Obv. this money went in pre-flop)

Some days I wonder why I sill play.

*sigh*

Brad