I suck, but I'm not going to cry about it too much, instead try to make a little sense out of the stats I have accumulated given the time I have put in. Making sense is something I often find myself struggling with so this is just going to be a stab in the dark.

So going back to the beginning of 09 I thought I would try to be more than a recreational player, I certainly enjoyed it and thought I could at least move up a couple of steps and be happy with that, I got HEM and played and tracked but quickly realised that I was doing what I always did and this did not lead to victory or glory over the greatest of fish, I read through forums now and again and watched the videos on offer but really I was I think just looking at the screen whilst a monkey with symbols had a party.

I realised this was not good enough, I could emulate what I saw without understanding what I thought and often went back to being a nut peddling nit, So I decided a little 1 on 1 would be a better step, I got coaching and things just seemed to make sense and fall into place I had a winning month and then another and another and eventually my Br's built up to a point where I could stab at 25nl, I sat in a game not really knowing what to expect was it a leap or a hop but alas the wheels fell off and after 1500 hands (2sessions) it was time to step down and build.

This drop down was all part of the plan and I really was not bothered by how it went I got there once it wont be long and I'll be back again but back at 10nl I started spewing and after dropping buyin after buyin it really started to get to me my game started to fall apart I "believed" every re raise I did not trust my judgment it was death by a thousand cuts I then turned into a losing player I played fewer and fewer hands every month in an effort to stem the losses without really looking at my game my enthusiasm was sapped confidence was low and I became lazy I resumed playing without any real effort like at the start of 09 and as it shows the results followed.

Laying my stats out like this means there is nowhere to hide from them I cant blame running under ev or being coolered there is alot of bad play in there as well as weak play where my foldy nature is causing money to evaporate, If you have read this far and have thoughts on my stats feel free to comment it can only help.

So at the start of 2010 I am wondering how to approach this, I know I want to be a winner, I think I know how to become a winner (work,understand,work) I just need to take those steps to becoming a winner and to keep going when things are tough instead of shying away from them. It wont be easy it wont be quick but with perseverance and a little intelligence (cos a little is all I got) I could fair better over the next 170k hands.

Take it easy
K

It's been a while since I last updated and in that time I can't say I have had much to write about.

So November was another loser and again I put in about half as many hands as is the norm and to be honest I did not really set about tackling the issues I was finding in my last blog, I guess I have not felt like it most the time and have just played because nothing else is going on, which I don't think is a good attitude if you would like to be a winning player there were also alot of frustrations which I allowed to get to me putting me on tilt.

November came to an end and whilst I was on the rig I thought through some things from time to time, and some of the thoughts were, I am way to attached to my bankroll even losing 1 BI is a big deal its $10 wtf am I worrying about I do not depend on winnings to pay the bills. I used to watch videos everyday on this site then started watching a few then limit specific then more or less stopped, how can I expect to learn if I dont pay any attention to my own game or learn from those that can beat my game.

So December arrived and I decided if I was going to play it would be because I felt like/wanted to so the first week home came and went and maybe I notched up 1k hands I started watching videos again and started to think more about how I would go about playing a bit more. The 2nd week came and I started to put more hands in and was averaging around 1k a day, I approached it not rally caring about the money side of things or if I won or lost and during the week I seemed to be showing a profit 10bb/100, that was until the weekend came and I started to lose out, it was not getting stacked that was killing me it was my inability to get on top or cope with certain players that really cost me and its where I need to put the work in its where I also need to grow balls and play more aggressively if I know a player is likely to be messing with me.

Its not likely I will put many more hands in this year as I am now on holiday in Perth Australia until the new year but I might go to Burswood and try out live pokers there is a first time for everything. But I can say December was a profitable month first one in a while, And I pulled my finger out and got rakeback on FTP so that will see my BR get boosted quite a bit so its looking good just need to work harder and hopefully the results will follow.

Take care

K

So September turned out to be another losing month, it was also the month where I played the fewest number of hands this year and as I went offshore to do my hitch on the rig I had two weeks to think about where I thought I was, where I wanted to be and how to get there.

By the time I got to the end of my two weeks there were a few thoughts that kept recurring well more like questions really.

1. Have I stalled in the development of my game: yes
2. Have I been a little complacent with my game: yes
3. Will I improve by playing fewer hands and playing my "B" game: no
4. Have I been lazy in my approach over the last couple of months: yes
5. Did I think after a few winning months I could keep up the results: yes, this may go under complacency and laziness but I like to put it in writing.
6. Do I blame players making bad decisions for when they get there: yes, I spend way to much time blaming my poor results on suckouts, coolers, bad beats etc they will always happen its part of the game and part of my game is trying to get people to put their money in bad against me, If they get there, so what. I also need to accept people will make their decisions wether they are right or wrong and just learn to adjust and manage the situation if it is not going my way lest I end up with spoiled brat syndrome.

I also need to have more conviction in how I deal with certain players, I made a video and recorded audio as the gamw went on and what I got out of it was that I change my plan so much and start to either doubt myself or get overconfident.
In one hand a guy bluff led into me 3 streets shoving 2x the pot on the river and I kind of just said stuff it I would of been AI Pre anyway, yet on the flop my thoughts were he is 3 betting w/PP that matches up with the flop and slow playing trips with the other card I have to check call to let him bluff as he overvalues TP and MP.

How I went from being sure on the flop to crying call on the river is a problem I need to deal with as 90% of the time I would of folded in a big pot like that even though on the flop I have identified the player as being somewhat of a maniac.

These are questions I need to answer and things I need to work on to try get the show back on the road.

K

Well I've been back for 4 days and played a little, It was a little hard to be motivated after last month where nothing worked and I turned into a cape wearing nit.

My thoughts were a little mixed on how to approach this and I had some ideas that I have been trying out, the problem with being a nit is that when you do eventually get a good hand the outcome is never guaranteed I was playing with a VPIP of 12 at one stage as I got hammered from all directions and got zero respect it came to a head whilst 3 tabling at the same time on all tables I got AAx2 and KK not one of them held up by the time I got to the river as my opps got bailed out or plain outflopped me.

So being a nit sucks because you rarely play any hands, you might lose when you do get a big PF hand and those big hands you do get tend to play themselves which really in my mind means that you are not exposing yourself to learning opportunities by being consistently put in tough spots.

And from this I am trying to play looser than I ever have which admittedly has been alot more fun but at the same time I have been thinking more about how to approach the game, now to some a PFR of 25 is nothing but that is almost 4x more than what I was on last month and almost double my usual, I have been put in some tricky spots where I have been able to learn or think my way around the situation.

It wont be easy and it wont be nice but I think adopting the mentality of short term pain for long term gain might be the way forward I just have to be certain that I am learning and not wasting my time. The weird thing I have found is that playing 37/32 seems to garner alot more respect at the tables that I have played so far which I think shows that players at my limits just have no perception of opponents game play.

I'm sure more will occur to me as time goes on.

K

So I said that was it for 2 weeks and it was but as there is such a panic about potential swine flu sufferers going about on rigs in the north sea I was unable to go out due to having flu like symptoms and being in contact with someone that had the flu.

So I have ended up playing a bit of poker to kill some time and have worked on scoring off some of the things on my hit list that were giving me problems and have since had a little success but I am definitely playing more confident poker.

The things that people will play or do seem to blow my mind I think I understand that some players are genetically pre-dispositioned to bluff if checked to after facing 2 streets of betting in a 3 bet pot they won't call a weak bet but will always bluff, others will check raise a flush and straight board on the flop with top pair and happily get it in with no other draws, some will put 70% of their stack just to set mine versus me and others will never give you credit for having AA or KK don't know why so many just assume AK is the hand you have.

And the other thing why do so many players min 3bet AA preflop then act surprised when it goes all in on the flop with them as a dog never really understood that but I see it so much they raise everything else normally so why open or 3 bet minimum other than to get a little action but what do they think they beat when there stack is going in on a paired flush or straight type flop.

Anyway these are some of the things I am finding with playing a less foldy passive poker game there really is alot of money just waiting for someone to come and get it just hope its me.

K

So this is a review before I go offshore for two weeks to see what my thoughts are on my state of play we will no doubt be under tight hole drilling conditions so no internet for the duration.

Ok so it's been a disastrous two weeks of play I doubt I will be playing anymore tomorrow so I can safely start to spew facts, played 11.5k hands, was at 8k after week one but after the hammering I was taking really cut back as I really just was not enjoying myself.

Dropped 12 BI at 10nl and the bulk of those were when I was the initial opener of a pot and the top of my range is what cost me the bulk of my losses, its not like I get attached to hands I will make big laydowns but I think my problems escalated by nitting up overall 14/10 which is a big step back from where I was in July, I got played back at alot it's where things get interesting alot of people scoff that opps at 10nl are not really thinking players etc maybe they are right, BUT I have experienced being on the end alot of aggression and have FELT at times like I am being targeted sounds stupid but I have had opps that go out of their way to 3 bet me when in position.

My problem has been that I have devolved to fit or fold poker I gave up cbetting when I missed as I knew I was never getting a fold from all but the most passive of players on flops that missed what I may have had, I had guys that would 4 bet me light I had others that would make some crazy reraise's where I would call check to them on the river and they opted to fold rather than check????

So things that I have done alot of wrong in that has occurred by me not playing strong confident poker, Called way to often when I should be 3 betting, Calling way too many flops where I was way ahead but was afraid to get it in or at least pump it up to test where I am thus allowing them to river a hand that would OBV get ahead, giving certain opponents way too much credit instead of betting for one street bet all of them drill home the advantage while you have it (player + board to be kept in mind). Allowing myself to get into tricky situations that are perhaps beyond my skill level and then not learning from them properly which I think is a bigger mistake than the accumulated previous muckups.

Somehow in the brief rest bite with all the losses I accumulated 400 hands at 25nl and ran probably worse running 3 buyins under EV but I did not see much of a difference in play at all people still all to willing to shove draws and top pair hands as at 10nl.

So for September I plan to score off each of the mistakes that I have highlighted one at a time stop being chicken and really try to strive ahead, pay more attention I think I got into the mindset of I'm going to get check-raised anyway I'm going to get called down so whats the point, need to have a more positive attitude. I cut my BR's so I am covered for 10nl I think my plan will be to grind those accounts back up to where they were before if I am good enough I should manage to do it in the two weeks I will be home unless I run crap again, I don't really think that gaining 10 BI's then dumping money into my BR is going to achieve much as 10 buyins is something I have been close to hitting when I have been running better in a single day.

Long post, If anything else occurs I might post but for now cheerio.

K
+running better also helps massively, should get a lesson as a barometer to measure if I am playing good or bad and running bad or good validation is comforting.

I had to make a tough decision about poker and my state of play, It's easy to say that you are playing well but being results oriented I am getting raped to put it mildly. I am being forced to fold so many hands when I hit big because everything and everyone gets there against me. I am being 3 bet relentlessly I played 5nl and 9 in 10 3bets were at me and mainly out of the blinds.

Every time I take on a super LAG they always hit sets V my top 2, I am getting checkraised most turns when in position and shoved over or pot committedly rerasied when out of position, I pick off the odd bluff here and there but so often they are not and if I do make it to the river I cant even value bet as they often hit a set or 2 pair

I have basically gotten really tired of calling it right to see villains get there, I am fed up of having to console myself with the fact I either got it in good or was building a pot when so far ahead, I have a really big problem trying to cope with all the aggression that I seem to be on the receiving end of, in my experience at least there has been a big change at my limit I don't think I am playing badly but the stats just don't back that assumption up anymore.

So although building my rolls to play 25 nl and looking forward to the challenge I have cut my BR's so I have a few buyins in excess for 10nl If I drop below 20 buyins I wont just drop to 5nl but go back to 2nl instead. Speaking to some of the guys in the poker group there are a couple of things I know I lack the biggest one being confidence they are also more advanced but I can learn, but the confidence wont just come from being learned it would come from seeing your efforts rewarded wether it be building you bankroll succeeding in shot taking or beating a specific villain that has given you so much hassle none of these are things I can achieve just now.

I'm not sure if I've got it or just saying I've got it.
does that make sense.

K

Really wished I kept my mouth shut to.

Don't know if I want to say anything in case it brings an end to reality as we know but... here goes. Is my bad streak coming to an end, has luck gotten bored with toying around with my aspirations.... the world is still here, so maybe it is but we will have to see about that.

The change has mainly come in hands holding up which makes a massive change to the bankroll i.e it's not leaking like a sieve I am still aware that it could go pear shaped at any minute but there could be a glimmer of hope and I have to grasp hold of something.

So may "break" did not last long but a got well rested and thought about it alot, And so I thought to just play around with a few things first plan was to play super loose to see about postflop play I decided to play any suited aces AT+ connectors 56+ gapped connectors 68+ suited kings you get the Idea after 300 hands I was about 1/3 of a buyin down with a VPIP of...............I'm almost crying 14 PFR of 8 my thoughts were OMG WTF I look at the sky and ask WWWWHHHHHYYYY.

And I played in 3bet pots with crap but I was just card dead as hell so that experiment came to a sudden but expected end, Alas I really think if you are really good postflop a loose aggro style could be very profitable but maybe not so at 10nl.

So I then just played very aggro for a bit and started to push the money in on marginal spots where I know I am ahead and it worked, I would know I was going to get CR'd by certain guys so my cbet was me committing myself to the hand and time and time again they had hands I put then on and I could beat and they held only problem was these were shorties so could never maximize gains and sometimes they would hit their second pair or trips when I get it in with middle pair top kicker.

So I have scraped back 3 BI's should be closer to 5 with out the suckouts but OBV ran AA into KK and knew before I called the shove it was a loser and that it would be the flop, I wish I did not get those gut feelings sometimes maybe I should just close my eyes and hope for the best in that situation.

Just got to be happy things are slowly going the right way again.

or will they?

K

And the pain goes on, today I tried a euro site for a change and they play is quite different to say the least most of the tables I played had next to no TAGS which were giving me so much hassle on PS and FT so felt I could perhaps make hay while the sun shone.

The reality was I continued to get my ass handed to me it was rare to see a flop HU with anyone I lost count of the times the flops were 4 or 5 handed, it seems whenever I have a set the boards keep coming 4 to a straight8 4 to a flush shoved on by a nit = fold, whenever I turn a flush which I bet when I was drawing and the river pairs and I know I'm beat.

I think the positives which I can take from this are, I am making some awesome lay downs where I would not of before so I have saved alot of losses with these decisions I have folded when ahead on a few occasions but I think avoiding the losses far outweigh the small gains I would have gotten.

I think I have to take a break increasing the amount of hands has only brought about an increase in losses down 10bi over 6k hands over 4 days, looking over HEM its the top of my range that is killing me I seem to be flopping big but getting forced off the hand by board and player conditions and as I have started to descend into the realms of nitnish the top of my range is making up an ever increasing percentage of my hands, and I hate playing this way as it is a step backwards IMO.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to do anymore, have I developed a leak by over thinking? Am I playing poorly? Am I running bad? Was I running good up to now? who shot JR I never found out? It's frustrating watching ssnl vids and listening to how easy it sounds when I am struggling like this the way they think through a hand and apply their knowledge is something that I don't always find easy.

I hear some violins in the background.
Oh yeah played some 6max SNG's for a change final tabled all of them how awesome is that.
hope everyone else is having a better time @ the tables

K

So like I said I have been away for three weeks I am back and playing again but after 2k hands something is up.

Have all 10nl players had some sort of epiphany, I am running horribly I mean really horribly at the minute I am being 3 bet, 4 bet like its going out of fashion shoved lead into, shove reraised , check call check reraised, the list goes on is this the result of players watching WSOP and trying to emulate their heroes or what, I feel like im being backed into a corner as I have a passive poker nature and to beat these limits you have to play solid and not get out of line to much and the money will come but I am being forced to nit up as I can not even hit a pair it seems ATM and the action I am getting is meaning its a stack off on the river.

You know its bad when you start getting bluffed by 8/4 nits take AA KK hands the only time these hands for me see a flop is when I am going to lose the hand, it seems like the only time I do get them is when everyone finds the fold button preflop when I am BB, I suffer from a variety of tilt forms but when a player playing 100% of his hands over 40 hands the first one he folded was his sb V my BB KK I am pretty certain that my hole cards are visible as I dont think villians are skilled enough to make reads based on timing tells when I open, limp or 3bet Preflop unless they have some kind of atomic micro measure super clock that can determine the smallest measurement of time.

I am of course by no means tilted but I need to hit a flop now and again I do catch the odd guy out but beyond that its obscene the way things are going.

common hands for the day J6o 93o
but I still think if I run average I can take a step onto 25nl over the next 2 weeks.

Kleft