Major breakthrough, grinded hard today. Got down early so that always helps getting in the hours, lol. But I didn't get mad, made a nice comeback to finish even. Played about 1000 hands 200NL, and a bunch of sit n goes 50 turbo and headsup stuff.

I really am trying to realize the true nature of poker losses. I am a Theravadan Buddhist, so I am trying to penetrate the dharma of poker losses. I made progress today and hope to build on it tomorrow. May all poker players be happy and healthy and grow in wisdom, but still continue to play bad against me.

Should have played longer but hit and run again. Won a couple buyin at 200nl. I'll go over the hands, see what's up. Obv ran good over short sample size. First real time mult tabling this limit. My impression are they are pretty poor, lots of obvious errors, limping, posting, dumb stuff. I'm no expert either, but I watched all the vids, so I have a clue.

Again I got up past a bankroll level and quit. What can I do, got to make friends with Mr. Busto. Maybe I should rename him to Mr. "Pokerstars roll not as big as before", since I seem to have big aversion to losing when I get up to a new record. But I think I am getting better.

Develope good poker habits early in your career. I have bad habits in this regard, and solidfied them for years and years. Take it from me, just play smart but don't cling to losses. Its a tough habit to break. I am talking meditation, journaling, everything to break this attachment to results. I wanted to be a great player so bad for so long, that I brainwashed myself, now I must undue it or have to go back to a real job.

(man that was too big before)

Okay, played 3 sit n goes, won one, busted out in two. 27+2 I think, lol. Big gambler.

I am going running later, I run in Balboa Park here in San Diego. The fires made me not run, so I gained weight. When you guys start pushing 40 you will see. But life gets better if you grow in wisdom. Good luck. I might play later and let you know how I do, I know you are on the edge of your seats. I have been a winning player for 10 years. Yes, at one time, I was better than almost everyone here (then they started to play and were smarter so there you go). Old school 2+2 limit and live pro. But I took some time off from poker since it really got to be a drag, now I am an online no limit player. I wonder how good I can get. Stay tuned.

Update. Never ran. Thought. Making friends with Mr. Busto. I might buy a stuffed animal and call him Mr. Busto. Make him my friend. The idea is that the thought object "going broke" causes aversion in the mind. If I have this cute thingy around that I am friends with, then I won't have this aversion. Maybe. I really have no risk of ruin, I drop down, etc. But I hate winning and then giving it back. So I lock up wins, which is not good. But I am attached, what can I do. Make friends with Mr. Busto.

Yeah, this is a test. Comments welcome. So lets see if I can edit it. hmmm.

Okay, there is more to come, I guess. Sorry nothing too exciting. I am a poker player and old dude like 38 old. I play 200NL, I never feel like grinding out the hours. My name is Jonathan.

Maybe someone reading this would like to team up and we could encourgage each other to play more hours. Oh well, maybe I will play tomorrow and post the results, I just moved up from 100nl, so we'll see how I do.