Exhausted from a lack of any sort of life productivity after 6 years of poker as a job ( especially pertaining to music making ), and coupled with a mindfuck of a year financially, I opted to quit playing, and planned on returning to work overnights at a diner I once employed while focusing on getting my life back on track.

My first Friday working that diner 7 years ago, prices were cut in half, and I left with $300!...

Seventy bucks my first Friday back, and that would be the precedent for the month. Our only regular customer was the goddamn recession, who would come in drunk yammering about wanting some fuckin' freeeanch toast, and then skip out on the bill. Him and lots of tranny prostitutes, and they don't tip. Plus they pay their bill with money they squirrel away under their tits; So that wasn't going to work.

I've realized that I'm just going to have to learn to balance this skill set ( poker ) with life.

Of course me being me, I opt to go the most backwards route, and instead of depositing a few dollars, or taking up a staking offer from very kind friends, I elect to try to turn tournament tokens from converted fpps into cash, and rebuilding from there. This began in November. I made enough to not have to pay rent until Feb 1st by Final tabling a few Stud Hi tourneys, and shipping a Stud 8 ( from my bathtub = ) ), along with 1/2 through 5/10 Razz and 10-Game cash tables, and had 4k left over...until yesterday.

Backtrack just a little. November I worked about 60-80 hours a week EASILY in order to get some sort of bankroll going, forgoing social life, diet, and exercise...the usual victims...sanity.

December, with a little cushion in place, I met up with my friend/boxing instructor Aaron, and we've agree to trade monthly to-do lists in order to better hold ourselves accountable from a productivity standpoint. Those were swapped, I resumed cooking, gym, being somewhat social. Good stuff.

Yesterday I turned on my computer and had one of those vibes. Today is not going to be a good day. And every fucking time I get one of those vibes I tell myself not to play. I guess I'll just play Mini Ftops PLO. So I loaded up a few super sats and proceeded to waste all of my run good on 4 $8 satellites. I bust out of Ftops, but I'm in a more positive mood ( inspired by token tourney run-good ), so instead of not playing altogether I decide to do the opposite and take some shots towards a little more financial security, and these would be the bigger pots from that choice. I'm just going to leave them in order:

A small one to get the ball rolling. These are all from 10 game btw, and all PLO until the end. 80% on the flop.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850536

Meh 0-2

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850538

K that one hurt 90% on the turn. 0-3

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850540

Grasping a little here, but whatever. 45% 1 time?

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850546

Now it's getting painful. 80% on the fucking turn....BINK.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850549

This is when the screaming would begin

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850555

Followed by some spew pre ( but I was the button..heh ) and post. YW Micon!

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850560

And after regrouping, one last string of shit on me. Bunch of small stuff and these bigger ones:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850562

Oh cool beans! Stud!

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850565

Razz: Figured he'd lead on 7th and not c/r since he led every other street, especially since a 9 gets checked back a lot in this spot, but surprise! Have all my value prease!

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850586

and the last hand before I snapped the laptop shut. Triple draw lolololol 3 bet 2nd draw, draw one BINK!

http://www.pokerhand.org/?5850590

I managed to stay...well I don't know if afloat is really the word, maybe treading, in all the other games to make up for most of the plo, before the shitstorm set in, and I quit with $1,111 left, just so I could make a fucking wish.

It was so nice going to sleep and forgetting about money for a little bit, but then I had to wake up and remember how little is left in my account, and how much soul sucking time I wasted processing cartwheels in front of my computer all of last month for nothing. Honestly, dying sounded really really good. Jumping off of a nice tall building in snowy Chicago, and forgetting about everything. I know I sound like a little bitch, and I know many of you can relate to the absolute hopelessness of a miserable year full of unsuccessful shot taking and regrinding...This isn't even really shot taking tho. Just from a "what my financial situation is now" perspective, it is. I just want to hit steady is all.

Less whiny more grindy I suppose. xo!

- ghost

Soooo Vegas....

I was actually quite surprised with the way everything went down when compared to my expectations. Notable differences include

- Spending more time playing cash games than tourneys ( because I busted earlier then expected ):

I exited day one of both the 1.5k HORSE and 3k HORSE events. The first was utterly hopeless, and I recall winning exactly 1 hand at showdown with weak holdings, that went check check on 6th and 7th street for no value. I remember basically blinding out, or being forced to fold every hand by 5th street, aside from one Razz hand where blinds were relatively large to my stack, and I raised the best draw on 4th, 5th, and made a crying call on 7th without having improved. There were a few people I recognized, but couldn't put a name to the faces.

I wore the bear/raccoon hat, as seen below, that my friend Jackie made, whilst folding my tourney away. This is the lesson I took from it. When you wear a silly getup or hat, it's important you realize that you are actually playing for it. If you bust out day one, people will think " Well there goes the asshole with the stupid gerbil thing on his head, " but if you make it to day two you lend to it a certain credibility. " The asshole with the gerbil on his head is actually quite good at poker. Gerbils...Fuck yeah! ". I didn't bother with costume for the rest of the trip despite being armed with a number of options.

I look really really dumb, hat aside.



HORSE event two was cooler after cooler ( I ran into 5 fullhouses, missed two royal flush draws - 1 on O8 flop and one by 4th in Stud, and misplayed a razz hand ). Notable pros were Isabelle Mercier, and this Italian dude who's name I've just forgotten, both to my immediate left. Mercier played really well, and has great fashion sense. Temporarily smitten, I will confess.

I got knocked out before dinner on day two of the Razz event, and had insane but fun table draws both days. Day one included Dario Minieri, Alexander Kravchenko, Michael Mizrachi, *TT*, and Shaun Sheikhan. Day two's table had me sandwiched between Jen Harmon ( to my right ) and Huck Seed ( the left ) After he busted, Daniel Negreanu took the seat, Yuvee to his left followed by Razz FTOPs winner and the guy who would bust me from the $500 HORSE final table at Binions, Scary Tiger from 2+2, Matt Glantz, Ike Haxton, and Greg Raymer. A decent sized rail gathered, and everyone was really pleasant.

Continuing notable differences

- Having a fucked up sleep schedule, even for Vegas, leading to me once again spending not as much time as I anticipated with friends. This would be a two in one:

Guess I mismanaged. After busting a tournament I would instantly be filled with the desire to head back to the hotel and not touch poker. A 90 minute grieving process would set in, then I would inevitably head back off to play cash, or wander around the RIO to sweat friends who had yet to be knocked out.

The day before my second tourney I played the $500 HORSE at Binions and went from chipleader to broke in four huge hands. busting out 8th. Gutted. I was taking turns either staying awake for 30 hour blocks or sleeping 16 hours straight. This from the guy who doesn't drink, etc. Next time I will be more disciplined.

- Enjoying the company of peoples who's company I had no expectations of:

I will begin with saying *TT* and I didn't hit it off on our last visit, and I honestly wasn't looking forward to spending time with him on this one, but he surprised me. He was far more humble and receptive around me than I could fathom, and that led to him be more engaging and enjoyable to be around. That made me really happy, especially since we share friends. Shaundeeb, expected him to have an ego, really really grounded and nice. Really enjoyed his company. Shaun Sheikhan, expected an asshole. Really fucking nice guy. Went out of his way to remember my name without even having asked it. Micon, quite personable and nice. Joe Hachem, really easy going and playful.

This is, of course, not mentioning the people I met who's company I had positive expectations of, and didn't fail.

- Not enjoying my fine dining as much as I figured to:

I'm going to have to assume that because my home life nutritional habits are on point, the copious amounts of salt, butter, and garlic were overkill to me. This is all my food tasted of. SALT SALT SALT, and I LIKE salt...all of the above, quite frankly.

I had dinner at Nove with my friend Eric, which started out great, but the salt and butter compiled to excess by the time I had gotten to my entree, which I can only assume was buttered salt. I honestly have no recollection of what I had...Filet I think?

Carnivino I was REALLY looking forward to, but the steaks were just too rare for me ( sorry foodies, I know ). I've bounced back and forth with eating red meats, and usually situations like this act as the catalyst. The $300 aged steak we ordered definitely tasted like it had rot nicely. I had a bite, and couldn't go on. My appetite was saved for the apple fritters; Two orders of which I ate alone. Yum!

Steve brought myself and a friend Sean along to the Cardrunner's dinner at N9ne, and that I think was my favorite meal of the trip. The meat was cooked a little longer, and not smothered in seasoning. Sides were simple and nice, as was the miniatures plate for dessert. Honorable mention goes to the Reuben and cherry coke I ordered table side during my mixed game at the Venetian.

- Poker playing women were very standoffish outside of their cliques:

Not much to say here. You have to work very hard at establishing a pleasant, non threatening rapport to get any of them to drop their guard if you weren't a part of their crowd ( minus Cindy Violette ). I base this on a good deal of general observation, and a little first hand experience. It was odd to me tho.

Those are the one's that first came to mind, and since this is pretty lengthy already I'll end it at that. The trip was lackluster as a whole, but pleasant all the same. I really enjoyed spending time with those I met, meeting new people, and experiencing the live tournament lifestyle for a short time. I'm essentially leaving everyone out who I already knew, or who I expected to like simply because there were too many to speak of, and it isn't exactly on topic, but I want to thank you all now for giving me some time of yours!

I do plan on doing this again next year, and playing more events if possible. I think I learned a few things, and another round should lead to some success. I intend on managing my time in a more professional/less touristy manner in the future.

Hopefully pictures, and possibly video will soon be up to see. For now I should mention the Razz video Steve and I made has been posted, and we hope the card playing viewers of this journal will find a minute to check it out, and let us know what you think! I would link, but I can't seem to copy/paste on this contraption. xo!

-Osc

I'm delirious.

My plane leaves for Vegas tomorrow at 8am, and I've been awake for some time now. There's a lot to be done still, and while updating this isn't necessity, it IS on my "would LIKE to do" list, and since I can't seem to steer my head away from the Isildur1 200/400 game, I suppose there's no better time.

The momentum I briefly began building over four consecutive days of play ( a rarity lately ) has been sidelined by an influx of serving stints, along with a trip to Wisconsin to visit family. Every so often I find myself picking up shifts at an old diner in Chicago I used to regularly work for a social aesthetic. I take on the graveyard shift for optimal transsexual misdeed surveying, and for the chance to play stenographer to drunken conversation to aid with prospective writer's block. Sometimes it's just nice remembering what it feels like to go into work pretty certain I'm not going to see my money flying into the hands of panda holding a martini glass before the end of the night.

These would be my monthly stats for the brief amount of hours logged. I played Rush plo to keep up with Iron man points every so often.

HOLD EM



OMAHA



STUD



All in all $1,900ish with a bit of shame for not having gotten more time in while playing/running relatively well. I did an especially good job of leaving tables when feeling stagnant, something I used to do well with, but pretty much diverged from.

As an added bonus, I ran my yearly EV graphs for NL and PLO, which I had yet to do in 2010. Enjoy!

NL





PLO





Honestly I feel a little relieved.

This should do for now. Much to be done, and I still have to fit a little sleep in somewhere. Vegas exploits should be documented, but if I dont have the time, I would differ you to my Vegas Twitter account at www.twitter.com/Oscillator_WSOP for the bits and pieces. What a crucial trip we have here! xo!

-Osc

Hi friends! I have decided to affix my journal to your boards. Gone is the old blog ( http://omgimdyingpoker.livejournal.com ) - A passionate girl who stayed brave through tempestuous climate and in spite of her keeper's icy neglect. She wasn't the prettiest thing, but she had a strong back and meant well. Sweet dreams love.

So what's good now? Well for starters ice cream...and next? Chocolate flavored magic shell to pour on top, obviously. Do you know how much ice cream and magic shell $311,899 will get you? LOTS! This is why it is imperative that I win at least 1 of the 3 events I'm signed up for this WSOP. I will be playing the $1,500 & $3,000 HORSE events and the $2,500 Razz for the first time after 5 years of playing poker for a living. Please follow my Vegas experience via Twitter, which I have begrudgingly signed up for, at the following address:

http://twitter.com/Oscillator_WSOP

I'm very much looking forward to finally meeting up with the many many faces I've swapped both money and words with over the last few thousand days!

In other news, Cardrunners video contributor Steve Albini and I wrapped part one of a set where the two of us sat at a table ( from opposite ends of his place ) and played some Razz. Steve superimposed my cards onto his screen during the editing, so the screen will be from Steve's viewpoint with both of our cards visible. We did one long continuous analysis together a good deal after the completion of the video which kept everything pretty fresh, and I'm really happy with how it turned out. Since there was a lot of back and forth, and we did this in one take, a few things went unresolved that I want to touch on in writing. As far as I know this will be available the 15th of this month, the same day I leave for Vegas as a matter of fact. I was always a pretty big advocate of not wanting to coach or make videos, but the appeal of goofing around with a friend always winds up taking precedence. It was lots of fun! Thanks to the CR guys ( whos *cough*drab*cough* office is essentially neighboring the two of us ) for the chat and lunch. They were all super chill and extremely pleasant/fun! Please find me if you want an office renovation...Swear to God I'm up to the task.

That should be all for now. Thank you for reading me. xo!

- Osc