http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-v20r-4TB0

What a difference a month and a half makes. I had to start off the blog with my man Ti for two reasons... 1) that song says how i feel right now and 2) cause hes out of jail . Its been a month since my last blog which i'm kind of annoyed about , why do I slack on everything I do.
Like I said before its crazy how things can change from a month ago, I don't know if its my grandma looking down over me GOD blessing me or whatever but I am at my peek right now I feel awesome and my results are great all around (except school =/ ) . A lot of new stuff happened since my last blog, I've got two vacations booked so far and talks are in the works about a Vegas summer house (which would be amazing) . I joined a PLO group which has been amazing for me in helping me come out of my downswing and just improving my game overall. I also met a lot of new people from it which is also cool. I think getting a house in Vegas for summer with people from the group would be amazing and really hope it falls through...but if it don't i have backup plans.
Coming off Jan into Feb i'm not going to lie i was kind of getting frustrated and that stopped me from my gym routine and effected basically my whole life. But I ended off Feb strong and this month i'm just crushing. I'm up $5600 alone this month I didn't figure my hourly but its some redic number. Health wise I started my diet 1st day of month and i'm still going strong I feel awesome right now, I actually just got home from the gym. It seems like being in shape ='s good poker results =) . So by New Orleans end of the month and Vegas in summer im going to be in great shape.
I hope this continues I def feel like it will and if it does I have a lot of decisions to make about my life and where I go from here. As for now im going to grab my kettle and go get mangled laterrrrrrrr

Greg

Havn't blogged since the start of the year and for good reason, I've had prob the worst month of my life. I had such hope and excitment for the new year and NOTHING i mean NOTHING has gone my way. Ill start with the passing of my grandma that came out of nowhere =/ . That on top of starting this year off as last year ended running like dog shit in poker just made me miserable. Up to today as i write this I'm offically 59 buyins under expectation. Its mind boggling but after talking to a few PLO players and reading some forums I've actually seen worse...which is about all I have to keep me sane right now knowing I'm not the only one. It's really crazy how swingy PLO can be, you can play your best and just go on runs where you lose every 60/40 , 70/30, even as i did friday lose to 80/20s!

I was reading someone else's blog today and they probably said something genious and that is the reason I'm writing my blog as we speak and also the reason I can't wait to grind my ass off tom even tho it could be another negative season ( cross my fingers ). Basically what they said is you should appreciate your downswings for they are what over your poker career has made you the money you have made. Doesn't sound like it makes sense but it actually makes ton of sense. Variance is what gives bad players the illusion they are winning players. And if bad players never won there would be no poker economy because there wouldn't be anymore fish. Anyone can win a sick amount of money in a given day. On friday I lost about 300 to some guy that was clueless and it frustrated the hell out of me. But now I realize that has to happen for me and every other poker player to continue to make money, This guy is now going to continue to play thinking its that easy to make money and sooner or later hes going to give it away. Bad players never win and cash out they try and just turn what they make into 10x that cause they feel they are winning players.

Variance is I guess I can say now the devil but also a blessing. Variance is all around us its just not in poker. Everyone has up and downs in their lives. What goes up must come down to a certain extent. The better you prepare for variance the better off your going to be and the more successful you will be. It's going to be frustrating thats just life and well life ain't all great all the time. If you plan for the variance and get through it which you will you will just come out stronger and better ready to account for it the next time. Ok enough of the rant.

Now that school started again i hope I can get in my 40k hands a month. It's going to be rough but even tho I'm in the negative for the year I still have hope to complete my goals...there is still plenty of time to go. The one bright spot I have to look forward to is NEW ORLEANS for spring break!!!! that should be fun. Ok since thats the only positive of the blog I think ill end on that. Goodluck all.

Greg

Before these past 2 weeks I was considering 09 a great success for me even tho it really probably won't seem that way to many people ( I'll explain why ). These last 2 weeks tho have just been complete torture, I've been so unlucky in just about everything from poker to even fantasy football! At one point this week I got so frustrated my head started to spin and I got light headed. It took that moment for me to realize and tell myself wtf are you doing to your...chalk it up and move on. I'm not writing this to complain about my last two weeks tho I actually rather just put it behind me so here we go....2009 was a great and turning point year in my life it was also a year I went through a lot of tough situations and met a lot of new people. It's def not a year I ever saw coming....

I guess you can say I havn't "Worked" a day this whole past year but thats far from true. Infact I'm more mentally and physically drained as we speak then I've ever been. Hopefully the moves I made in 2009 will prove to be the right ones as I feel they are. This includes going back to school and taking up poker full time instead of looking for a job elsewhere. When I look back at the year I did so many things I can't even name them all but some are my shore house, losing and making thousands of dollars in the stock market (mostly losing...FML) as well as making alot of money in poker and having some crazy swings at the same time. I think I went to AC about 60 to 65% of the year so I can't complain there either. So many other things that just won't come to mind right now.

2010 is going to be more of a goal oriented year for me not like 2009 where I basically spend money like water and don't have much to show for it. My goals for last year worked well so here are my 2010 goals:

1) By the end of Jan play only PLO 100 and higher and by years end be rolled for plo 400 and be able to take some shots at plo 600

2) 3.0 GPA at leastttt in next two semesters combined. Also want to put a little more effort into school and not push it off till the last minute all the time, that gets way to stressful.

3) Go to at least 1 other country not including Mexico I know I said this is my last goals but I'm going to make it happen this time.

4) Keep up with being in shape. I finally got back into shape and I'm not about to go back to being out of shape and miserable. Being in shape makes me feel so much better and it helps in all aspects of life.

5) Look for a girlfriend just thought about this yesterday when I saw someone elses goals and it makes sense and would save me tons!!!!

6) Make 50k profit in PLO not including rakeback. This will equal plo 400 bankroll so it works perfect with goal #1

7) Not go bustoo or run bad so I can get my 2010 Camaro when my truck goes back =)

8) Most importantly "RUN GOOD"!!!!!!

Reach Goals:

1) end year at 5/10 PLO

2) make 75k profit no rakeback included

3) 3.5 GPA next 2 semesters

4) look at condo's and possibly move out if I feel its needed and have enough $



The reach goals will be tough but they are def doable and I think positive so why the hell not anything can happen. As for my regular goals they are def doable if I don't be retarted and do stupid stuff. All and all 2009 was a great year and I learned and but I def can't wait for 2010!!!! Bring it onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Happy New Year

Greg

Finallyyyyyyyyy I might be the happiest person in the world right now. The week is finally ended and I couldn't be happier. For the first time in my life I can't think of even one negative thing about last week nor coming up till end of the year (besides my finals =/ ) I really don't know where to start so I'll start with the Jets...3 in a rowww!!!! thank god everything we needed to happen to make the playoffs has happened so I'm praying it continues cause I know they can do it. The def looks good enough that if they make the playoffs it can carry them to the super bowl, anything can happen. On to the Mets, I don't want to jinx it but even tho they havn't made a big pickup yet, it looks like they are serious about picking some big guys up which gives me SOME hope for next season. School is over for me thursdayyyy which is going to feel great and give me so much more time for myself and to apply to poker. AC new years eve ahhh I'm getting excited just writing this. But what really made this my best week ever was my poker results... I played 17.4k hands with a winrate of 23.58 BB/100! for close to $2050 in profit. I'm to lazy to do the math but thats something like 60-65 bucks a hour. This sets me up perfect to get back to the stakes I use to play to start off the new year and hopefully double all my winnings whoop whoop.

Reason I wrote this blog today and not tomorrow like planned was cause as I was cleaning up I found the piece of paper I wrote my goals for end of year on. I wrote this a little before the summer started. I set 5 goals and sadly I didn't reach all 5 I hit 3 of 5 but I'm still somewhat proud. I didn't get my online bankroll to 15k I cashed out way to much cause there is no excuse cause making 25k was another goal and I reached that. I guess if I had to look back I can see where I spent it all (alcohol, Dusk, craps and bills). The other goal I didn't reach was kill Jewmaf which was really at the top of the list so im not to happy about that. The other 2 I did reach was lose 10 pounds which I crushed and don't get arrested or in trouble in Belmar which I didn't....thank god. All in all im happy and I like the idea of setting the goals cause it really does help to reach them. Next I have to reach all the goals I set for end of next year when I started back up my blog a few months back. I'm feeling real confident and motivated tho so bring em onnnnn. Back to studying for finals thats all for now.

Greg

Sitting home bored with any lack of want to do anything productive has inspired me to write this to maybe help gain some motivation. Since getting somewhat depressed with certain aspects of my life last week I just havn't been the same and its weird because things are going very well in the other aspects that I shouldn't get depressed. I don't want to get to deep into details but it stems from peoples opinions or judgement of me and my choices that I've made at this moment in time (not just poker wise) . I use to actually care more then I should about how people thought of me and it made me feel terrible sometimes and actually think I wasn't good enough or I was always wrong when an argument came about and I was involved and other things I think you get the point.... My new attitude is I am what I am take it or leave it whether it came to girls friends or random people I meet wherever. When it comes to telling people you play poker full time it draws reactions you wouldn't believe, and to be honest its expected and I really havn't cared enough to try to explain the reality of how poker works cause I know in 90% of cases its hopeless and thats just fine people are entitled to their own opinions. Your probably asking how this relates to me being unmotivated or depressed if everything else is going great.... Here it goes.....

Long story short I met someone last Saturday and we were talking and they asked so what do you do who do you live with blah blah blah. So like I said I'm not embarrassed or where I stand and what I do and so on so I told them. After I said it I dunno I felt like everything had changed and I was looked at different and at the moment it didn't really bother me till the next day. I'm not going to lie this isn't what I hoped for by the time I was 25 I wanted to be the best I can be just like everyone else, I wanted a house a good job a nice girlfriend and feel like I've made something of myself and my family proud. All standard stuff. But you come to realize life isn't perfect and in 99% of cases you don't get what you want and you have to make the best of the hand your dealt. Nothing comes easy dreams are dreams reality is reality. This is where I think I've made myself proudest by knowing I've put myself in a good position knowing what I've dealt with or been through in the past. I made many mistakes some far worse then others but I've been able to put it all behind me and move on. You can have anything you want if you just have the want to go get it. Thats not a dream that is reality and its been proven by people over and over. it may not be as quick as you would like but better late then never like the saying goes.

All of last week following the Saturday night that got me in this mood all I did was second guess myself once again cause of how I felt or the conversation made me feel. This is the exact opposite of how I normally act normally I'd shrug it off move on. I started to think maybe I should move out it will be better for me, living at home at 25 doesn't exactly always give people the best impression of yourself. Two of my friends asked me cause they are looking at houses so I was at that moment 50/50 about it. Then thanks to a friend i realized I've made my decision of going back to school and poker full time and that I have a good thing going why do you want to change it when you don't have to and better yet change it so other people look at you in a different light. There is really no need for me to move out right now it would just be another possible mistake or roadblock that I really don't need. So I decided to stay put but still havn't been able to shake the blah feeling. I havn't been playing much poker and when I do its never for more then 2 hours straight cause I lose focus and just want to lay down. I have a 5 page paper do next wed and I still don't have a journal article to base it on. But yet I'm sitting here bored and unmotivated to do either. I am hoping writing this will get me out of this mindset cause God knows I need to get things done! Ok thats all the ranting I have for now. GL me.

Greg

It's true what they say when your winning your not learning but when you lose you learn a hell of a lot. I've learned so much since my downer and all that is what I have to thank for what I've accomplished since then. I havn't blogged in a while and to be honest it wasn't cause I didnt want to its because I've been grinding my life away. I put in 55k hands in last 24 days ( kill me ) , plus midterms and stuff. I barley have time to go to the gym twice anymore. Results are amazing probably my best winrate ever 17.73 BB/100 over a little more then 55K hands. Also managed to get a 92 and 80 on my two midterms yeaaaaaaaa. Before writing this I looked at the goals I set in the first Blog and sadly besides the bankroll goal and the gym goal the others aren't looking to cool. I have to start trying a bit harder they are all doable.

I'd also like to rant on myself cause its probably the only way to change myself. I'm such a lazy ass, but only when it comes to things that I dont enjoy. I have a oral presentation next week in pysch on ADHD and I havn't even opened a book yet for a article as usual I told myself lets do it last minute.... FML. I don't think I will do bad but I probably deserve to. Have a lot of other shit on my mind but fvk it all AC next two weekends DUSK here I come. For other randomness I got 2 free nights at the plaza any nights till jan 9th so if anyone can think of anything good let me know. Otherwise thats all I got.

G.P

Its friday night I have no life so I decided I'd update the blog. I wanted to blog tomorrow but I totally forgot I was going to be in AC so it works out anyway. It feels very good to learn from your mistakes and come out from a bad run ahead. I've had great success lately at the tables. I absolutely have killed PLO50 running at 18.18 BB/100 (7 BB/100 is considered a great winrate) over my last 33.9k hands. This is my best results ever and I couldn't be prouder cause of where I came from to acheive these results. I could move back to my regular stakes but I think I'll stay put and grind these stakes for 100K hands it cant hurt.

AC tomorrow should be alot of fun we get a table at Casbah every year and its always shit load of fun. I'm also the same thing every year a doctor...whatever not much a one to get all dressed up. The borgata is probably the only casino to run live PLO games in AC so I'll prob pass by there and give that a shot to if I have time those games are soft as hell. I'm watching the whole season of bored to death right now so I'm to lazy to post my graphs ill do it next time. Loving life right now and feeling like the best is yet to come hope this is how it stays!

G. P.

My first complete week back grinding after retooling my game went pretty well. Obviously the money isn't as much cause I moved down stakes but what matters is the adjusted EV which was +1,311.41. In plo your not getting your money in with a huge edge so to be this close to total money won is pretty sick and I'm really happy my plan worked. I worked really hard lookign for leaks and where I was going wrong. I'm going to finish up this month at this stake then probably move back up to my normal stakes. I'm feeling really good right now and full of confidence.

As for balancing school that has turned around to, I aced my Pysch test and got a B+ on my second math test. If these results keep up I will be a very happy camper. Also my ECA stack diet is over and it was huge sucess I lost 19 pounds! As far as I can see that part of my goals is already complete cause I don't plan on gettign out of shape ever again infact I'm still doing cardio everyday just adding in weights as well now. Thats all for now class in the A.M. blahhh

Greg

Havn't blogged lately with good reason....I've been double guessing myself and had a lot to think about on all ends. After the nice big week I had 2 weeks ago last week was a total letdown losing more then I won the previous week ( I don't even want to get into the numbers ). All I have done since friday has been thinking if what i am doing is best for me or not. Well I'm done thinking and have came to a few conclusions.

Ever since I started playing poker my reasoning was I wanted to be the next 20 year old millionaire or In general just make a shit load of money. I never took into account what it takes to get to that goal or even to get to just making a lot of money in poker. Poker has treated me well over the past 2 years I can't complain but after the past few days I realized as good as I have done I've could have done better. As the saying goes tho every fish has his day (short term), at any day someone totally clueless can win a huge amount of money and vice versa a great player can lose a lot (variance). Poker isn't a game that your breed to be good at like say football cause your big and athletic and can hit hard. It takes many thinks to be a great poker player and none of them are easy or God given except you can argue if your a math wiz but there arn't to many of those people out there, either way you get my point. What seperates the 3 different types of players is mind set which I'm going to explain.



I want to give examples of the 3 types of poker players out there and there logic and how it effects them when losing.

1) Fish (bad player) - This is your average player playing for fun or as a hobby or even the people that think they know what they are doing but in reality they are clueless and yes there are many of them. Now when they lose they just blame bad luck and its never there fault. Right there they are never going to win money but I guess in most of there cases there is no need as they have other income and its just entertainment for them or they just like the rush. There is no thought process or questions why they are losing they just lose.

2) Winning players - These can be full time players or even part time players that know the basics and are good enough to be profitable at the game. There mindset when losing is ok this is standard variance in the long run I will be profitable. This is in a sense true but the problem is, yea they may be profitable they arn't as proftiable as they should or could be and in reality are losing value.

3) Great Players - A bankroll doesn't make a great player or take away from a great player. What makes a great player is there thought process on the game itself. When they lose they wont blame it on anyone of many things they will say " let me review all my sessions my biggest hands and find my leaks. Let me move down a limit or to to get my game straight until I feel I'm ready to move back up." There are great players at all limits as many don't have the funds to play the biggest games at this point in time.

Now what I realized after the past few days and I'm not afraid to admit it is...I'm not a great player I'm somewhere inbetween that and a winning player. I lost the love for the game and was playing it as just a income cause I was playing it to much or just at the wrong times. I really was thinking about taking a month or 2 off and not playing at all and just concentrating on school to get me back on track but that isn't the answer either. The answer I came up with is balance, balance in everything I do and not burn myself out anymore. This brings me to my second rant.

I was not balanced at all and it took a dissaster of a week for me to realize this. This effected my poker results as well as my school results. By not playing poker for 2 months and just going strong with school, this is not going to help in any which way and when I start playing again whenever it is I'm going to burn myself out again. So I came up with a plan that I think and hope will work.

With everything I have stated I have decided to move down in limits and not play poker as just income related but more as for the love of the game and to be the best player I can be. My cash results will not effect me at all what I will look at is my total expectation and if my leaks were fixed. Also I will not move back up to the bigger games until I work out a schedule that I feel totally comfortable and not burnt out with poker school and life. I don't care if I am miserable with making less money I won't go out as much or go shopping etc.... This is where I stand right now and I am not afraid to admit it. My goals will stay the same as I still think I can attain them. If anything this lesson will help me reach them quicker or at least the right way. Till then wish me luck....

G.P.

Here comes the first negative blog but I'm sure to be followed by many more. After having prob my best week ever last week this week hasn't treated me so far (still 3 days left to change that) I didn't do as well as i thought on my math test and I flunked chem FML . I got crushed tuesday and wednesday at the tables for like 800 I didn't even bother looking at the numbers it was brutal. Basically nothing went right. I studied my ass off I'm really down about that but I know ill end up with good grades in the end...short term don't mean much in life. I think I'm going to take today off from everything and just relax and start over tomorrow. The one positive thing is that my diet is going really well I've lost two sizes in jeans in 14 days! Still 16 to go im anxious to see end results. I'm going back to AC this weekend actually the next 4 weekends ( I love the winter ) so thats something for me to look foward to. Also i think I have found the place I will travel to sometime beginning of next year, Barcelona my friend is renting out a place there for grad school. That should be insane and good expierence. Other wise nothing else to say.

G.P.