Haven't been doing my weekly updates as i had planned. I have found in my first month as i pro I'm lazier than i thought, just being honest. I thought my work ethic that i had working 50hrs a week doing a job i didnt like would carry over, but it hasn't. Don't get me wrong, I've had a pretty good month so far, and i have done some work, but nothing like i had planned.

Going to vegas in a week. Will take a little break before than to rest up for a week long gamble fest. When i get back i plan to work much harder, and really start participating on the forums etc.

Month so far:

After much deliberation, and a year and a half as a successful part-time 400-2knl player i have left my good and stable job to follow my dream. Despite the worst poker conditions in a long time, I left 2 weeks ago, been playing some but mostly taking it easy. It's time to write out my goals

Goals

1)Average 10k a month in total profits(rb included play on merge). This should be easily attainable as long as the games stay as they are now

2)Take time to learn how to play new games and tournies, i would like to learn first how to play tournies because i plan on playing some WSOP events. Then will focus on PLO

3)Not being lazy. I want to do a minimum of 10 hours a week analyzing my play, learning how to utilize all the tools HEM offers, learn flopzilla and watch videos. Despite success i do not do this nearly enough, now that i have no job and commute i have no excuses.

Those are my main goals this year. Very vague, but i think i know what i need to do. I will update a blog im shooting for once every week or two and than a month end summary.


One thing i know i need to work on now as not emotionally attached. It's weird i use to never tilt or get emotional, but now playing full-time i seem to care about results a lot more. This was shocking to me. Something i will keep an eye on and actively work to improve

January graph:

Moving blog here to try out from formally just writting myself emails. Will have a lot more to talk about but need to get stuff off my chest here at work at 1:33pm.

After swinging 20+k on sunday and 20+k again on monday i finally ended down 22k dollars for the 2 days and about 15k for the week. This is my largest swing that i believe is actually BENIFICIAL for my growing as a player if i learn from it. I am going to write this again, this is what i need to get of my chest and explain to myself. This large loss of money actually happened for a good reason in the long run. Is that optimistic?Am i crazy for really believing that? So why am i writting why do ineed to talk about it.?

1)My goals are becoming clearer. Plain and simple, i want to be the best. I want to be better than every player at my stake. I believei can do it, on the dawn of losing 20 some thousand dollars, which is more money than i ever thought i could make at poker, let alone lose in a day i can say i believe i am capable of beating everyone at my stakes if i work hard and keep at it. I do have some weaknesses that need to be fixed, some character flaws, holes in my game that can be poked at until the hole is big enough to rip, which may have happened some this weekend, as a poker player you must find these poked holes in your game before the better players cause a rip.

Why do i want to be the best? Isn't this about making money? If it really were about just making money i wouldn't play players as good as me HU at 5.10. But now the game doesn't seem as scary, they aren't as mystical as they once seemed.

I continued to play despite being down big money, i pushed through tiredness, hungry, i heard a voice tell me to continue to play. I did not feel like i was spewing, i did not feel overmatched while playing two competent oponents HU while also playing tough 6m games.

Enough rambling about feelings. Heres what is apparent i did wrong during the down swing

1)state of mind was horrible on monday. Had my most swingy day on sunday, and instead of relaxing after playing 3 days straight i woke up and startedplaying right away. I normally dont do this, but my shoulder injury did not allow me to work out. I always go a little crazy after an injury. This is not an excuse, you need to get in the right state of mind to play. This is my biggest mental weakness. This is my biggest challenge, i know it will continue to be a challenge but i will get better. I wasn't going to play on monday, instead i lose 16k, remember this.

2) I look to get in marginal situtations, flips , gambles while down, you should be doing the opposite, this i know, shy away from flips and gambles while in a downswing. This is sure.

3) The most amazing thing occured to me while i tried to sleep. What a true player is about. The best way to explain it is being able to take yourself out of your body while playing, what i mean is like putting yourself in the shoes of someone who'd be sweating you while playing. Essentially i mean desensitizing yourself during play.

Best Example, and from this i know how to apply to all situations. When you call a 5 bet shove pre or 4 bet a guy w/ ak and they shove and they have qq. Dont be thinking about winning the flip, instead think about if they would of been bluffing there given the game flow or if they ever think your bluffing/how this situation fits into the meta-game. Does your opponent winning the flip affect his game? how bout losing? does it affect yours?

Final thought, i've come too far now, i need to get better. I will move down periodically/ game select/ do what it takes to get back. I will be the best and i know what is required.

1 week from teh HU event in ac, im taking it down.

graphs:

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