This past week I was consumed with refinishing my aged deck. It involved many hours and days power washing, sanding, extensive priming and two coats of hand painted redwood finish. It looks great now, but as a result of my long hours toiling I didn't find the time or energy for my weekly blog. So here is this week's blog a bit early.


Padraig Parkinson mentioned on his @padraig888 Twitter feed recently "Those contemplating suicide after a month in Vegas have been advised to do nothing hasty until after they see how they do in main event."

The experienced Irish poker pro is known for his witty, humorous and sarcastic tweets. In this particular tweet he captured the ultimate reality of poker. Most players will find disappointment, but as long as there is another tournament they will hold out hope for that elusive big result.

Each year the World Series of Poker serves as a microcosm of society. Roughly 95% of the poker players will either lose money or fall short of their lofty goals. They all arrive with high hopes and grand plans. In preparation, many worked hard on their games and sacrificed for the opportunity to play. And yet most will face what I call the culture of disappointment. Exerting time, energy and resources only to find a less than satisfactory result. They aren't alone.

Throughout society, we encounter disappointment constantly.

- We don't get the score on a test we desired.
- We are disappointed in a relationship.
- We get cut by some sports team.
- We work for six months on a business project only for it to be shelved or negated.

Everywhere we turn our dreams are dashed. Whether it's justified or not, the disappointments keep coming.

Whole cottage industries have been created to fight the perceptions of mass disillusionment. Motivational speakers, inspirational quotes, highly positive advertising and marketing, along with highly promoting the few that enjoy high levels of success all go to combat the inevitable let down of our disappointments.

- You can do anything you put your mind to. Study harder and you'll do better next time.
- It was them, not you. There are other fish in the sea. You will find someone better.
- There are other teams and coaches. Push harder. Strengthen your weaknesses.
- You can only control the quality of your work, not how it's received. Do your best and you will be rewarded.

It is true that our reactions to these innumerable challenges and disappointments defines our lives. Look around and you see the signs of those who give up. They start settling. They stop taking risks. They look to escape. They move on to other interests or occupations.

It is no different for poker players. Facing the seemingly inevitable culture of disappointment, poker players will lose the motivation to keep working on their game. They will play less. Blame others more. Their moods are more sullen and resigned. They might walk away altogether.

With the lure of the WSOP and provided they can scare up the funds, they will be back again next year to seek their fame and fortune. As long as there are the elusive payoffs and glittery bracelets, they will chase again and most likely be let down again. It's a familiar cycle.

The limited advice I would offer would be to reframe your experiences so they can be a positive for your no matter what. If you grow stronger in each step of the journey you take, then it doesn't really matter that you end up somewhere different than you initially planned.

1. Don't be afraid to feel. Keeping it all bottled up can do you a disservice. Find ways to vent through exercise, punching bag, yelling in a private space. Don't succumb to taking it out on others, whether you think they deserve it or not (e.g @adzizzy's Twitter breakup rage)
2. No disappointment is a dead end. Scan to see how you can react best to your temporary setback. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you find a solution to your current situation.
2. Learn to accept the inevitable. Most athletes don't go pro. Good workers can be fired. Most people don't cash in poker tournaments.
4. Return to your core values. Who are you? What are your true priorities in life? Does this disappointment really shake the foundation of your being, or is it simply an opportunity to move in a new direction?

I know of so many people who grew from their time in poker. Many have leveraged that experience to new ventures and interests. In taking their time in poker as seriously and productive as possible, they can now apply that experience and increased skill set to new challenges. For those fortunate enough to make their long term living from the game, I applaud you. Whether by skill or good fortune, it can be a great ride. For me, I would rather that you be true to yourself and respect the people and world you live in than wish you any particular poker success. That doesn't mean I won't be there virtually rooting for you next week in the Main Event. I still subscribe to the notable quote, "To dream is to live life's full potential."