I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. With all the festivities going on, I almost overlooked last week's Social Director column that gave my Twitter perspective on the heads-up battle between Chris Klodnicki and Andrew Lichtenberger in the recent Epic Poker League mix-max main event.

Last week, I noticed a post in the CardRunners Swamp (off topic forum) titled "how long since you've been laid?" In it the usual OT crew posted their funny and semi-serious responses regarding the state of their relations. I've always found these posts entertaining and illuminating for several reasons. The majority of posters are young, male and single or relationally inexperienced. They tend to exhibit a general distrust of the sanity of women along with certain idealistic notions of what a healthy relationship involves. I tend not to weigh in on these occasional discussions, but as my 16th wedding anniversary will be celebrated the first week of January and we've been together roughly 20 years I thought I might contribute something in my blog.

I spent a couple hours brainstorming ways of explaining my perspective in a novel fashion so it didn't come across "preachy" at all. At one point, I even started researching Venn diagrams to help demonstrate the complexity of any two people trying to make a long term commitment to each other. I scrapped that idea as being too scientific, unfeeling and rather nerdy.

In the end, all I can really say is that whatever two people agree to in a relationship is healthy in my eyes. I'm not here to judge what is or isn't healthy or how much sex any two people should have.

My perspective may be best captured by a line in the 2010 move Tron: Legacy when Jeff Bridges tries to impart his approach as the years have marched on to his impassioned son, "Life has a way of moving us past wants and hopes."

We can't predict what obstacles we will encounter in our lives and relationship as the years march on. In most serious relationships there is a progression through courtship, marriage, home, work and kids. Each element contributes complexities, along with unforseen health and aging issues. The idealism of an earlier age evolves to something more practical but not necessarily less romantic. To survive and prosper you have to continually look to manage and balance a myriad of issues that often preceed your own wants and desires. So while the frequency or ferocity may shift with the years, it doesn't mean that we don't all still seek the same connection, closeness, validation and oneness that beyond our primal urge to procreate causes us to prioritize sex so highly.