So yes, it's true. I'm back in the virtual world of putting my thoughts to paper or the paper to my words or whatever other silly way you'd like to word it. I've had a lot of friends and random people send me messages asking why I quit blogging and if I had any plans to start blogging again. Frankly, why I quit is a story for anther day and I don't really have time to divulge into that right now, or maybe possible ever for that reason, because the fact is : I'm pretty lazy x amount of the time, where x represents a very high variable of a percent figure. I've had a lot going on and some real highs as of lately (figuratively and literally) and some lows. I'm not really sure what I'll cover in my blogs, but I hope it's entertaining, thought provoking, and maybe pissing a person or two off along the way would be a cool bonus. I should also mention, the deciding factor to start blogging again was when Max , known to the virtual world as "RodeoBlue" told me that he'd make my blog his homepage when it returned.

To catch some people up, I should start by saying last year was very interesting. It was the first year of poker that I dealt with the reality of not always winning at will, facing downswings, tilting, and really not reaching some goals, which for me is insanely hard to deal with. Last year started off insanely hot for me, probably making me one of the biggest winners on Full Tilt Poker at SSNL Heads Up and I pulled a ridiculous amount of money from those games given the stakes. From then until summer, things drastically cooled off, I was unfocused playing poker and I got distracted. While in Vegas, I was on what started as one of my biggest downswings/losing periods I've ever had. While frustrating, I managed cop with it and pulled through summer. After Vegas, I went on a heater (Insane run of winning at will for all you non poker fans out there) of a lifetime where I was trying to lose and I couldn't. When this happens, a few things take effect:

1. You gain a false sense of confidence.

2. You become irresponsible.

3. You are doomed for a downswing.

Well, I can't sit here and say none of the 3 happened to me, because I'm sure they did. I think I vividly remember the day things started to turn for the worst. I took a loss in the stock market, I got destroyed online, and I felt like I didn't care about poker. I was insanely uncertain what I wanted out of it, and my results reflected it. This started what is still today as my biggest downswing. On Thanksgiving Eve, I went on what is the biggest losing day of my poker career and financial career for amount of money I lost. I played some bigger games than I should have, was tilting, and had a lot going on. Needless to say, to this day my confidence playing poker is still not 100%. From then, up until today, I've been downswinging insanely hard, with the occasional big winning day in between a few losing days, which add up more than the big winning day. I've been losing money faster than I care to count. However this has been a reality and I've always dealt with it accordingly. So now that rambling is out of the way and that brings everyone up to speed, to today. That's probably all that I'll discuss on the poker front of things in this blog.

As far as life is concerned, it's been up and down as well, though it's been hectic as of lately. I ended up scheduling classes at the wrong campus (don't ask) and I'll likely have to get that arranged next week and go back to the correct one, or I'll continue to stay at the one I'm at now and rent an apartment. I've been doing some apartment searching and I really enjoy it here. I've been staying with a friend for now, and the new experience is something that benefits me and I really believe it'll help me keep focused on things. The only downfall is that I have a new puppy that I've been waiting to pick up , but that might have to be put on hold if I find an apartment. That's about as far as I'll dive into my personal life for now.

As far as 2009 goes, it's extremely goal oriented for me and I'm pretty excited about it. I've already worked insanely hard everyday this year so far to reach my goals and it's the motivation I'll need to continue to have to reach the goals. I do have a financial figure set that I'd like to reach as far as poker is concerned, but that's actually the least important goal on my list of 13. I do believe that I've grown tired of poker and I'm really looking to either step away or remotivate myself in some way and really figure out what I want out of it. I will be taking off poker until the end of February and focusing on school and other more important goals. At that time, I'll figure out what I want to do with it. I think my most likely option would be to focus on Pot Limit Omaha and focusing on becoming the best player that I can at that. I always strive to be the best, and without a doubt with being good friends with Brian Hastings (Best PLO player in the world) and Brian Townsend, there is simply no reason that I shouldn't have great success with this. The main thing is making sure I'm motivated when that time comes, otherwise it's not fair to myself nor those guys for helping me when their time is worth thousands an hour. While 2008 was a very swingy year for me, it was a very successful year financially from poker, CardRunners, and investments. While I hope to keep the same up for 2009, it's going to focus a lot more on other aspects in life and finding things I really like to do and that make me happy. Hopefully you'll enjoy my next entry, which will be called "If money were no object" (Bill will like this one).

Love,

TrevRob