Things have been insane over the last few weeks and now that I have some time and the motivation to write everyone to update them I will.

Most people reading this blog do not know that my 5th wedding anniversary is this March. My wife and I agreed to split up the day before Thanksgiving. First off it should be noted that I have no ill will against my wife, people assume that separation means two people do not love or care anymore and at least in our case is simply not true. We got married when we were 19 years young and we got along well as much as married couples do :) and made a pretty good team. The issue with getting married this young is that you are going to change and find direction in life and there is a pretty good chance that both of you will find different paths and make choices that can very well pull you both in separate directions. When you are that young there are so many big things to face such as school, finding a career, children and about 1,000 other things that young people face. For us we found ourselves wanting different things and needing different direction in our lives. We agreed that we should spend some time with ourselves and doing for ourselves and because of that we decided that I should move out.

She lives with her mom which is where we have lived for the last 5 years so it was logical of course for me to be the one to move. I was scared without a doubt because I have never lived on my own. My existence has either been living with one of my parents or living with Molly and her mother which was more freedom but no where near living on your own. I moved out on Jan. 10th and signed a lease with a friend of mine a few miles outside of Denver in the city of Thornton.

So as you can imagine the last few weeks I have been moving, packing, unpacking, moving furniture around the apartment, shopping for food and other necessities and just getting things in order like setting up my internet, getting that darned wireless to work in an apartment complex and just getting my feelings together.

I love poker and it has been a constant in my life for sometime now and knew I would return but I thought it best to really give myself a few weeks before I dove back into playing on a regular basis. I have played here and there and my biggest accomplishment up to this weekend was playing a couple of 180 man SNGs and coming 1 card away from winning the event but instead fell in 2nd place.

Last night I decided with my new EEE (netbook) to get on and play some more serious poker and so I decided to join some MTTs and grind it out. I played in nearly 12 events mostly Omaha and PLO8 and some NLHE. I cashed in a HORSE event but I made it very deep in a PLO8 event.

With 645 players entering, I managed to put together 10k pretty early on when the avg. stack was still around 3500 or so. I carried this stack well through the middle stages of the event adding chips here and there and kept myself in the top 10 in chips when we neared the money bubble of 99.

I picked up hands when I needed to but for the most part just applied pressure in the right spots to take down pots and maintain my stack. Nearing the final table I went on a rush and put a couple of big stacks in bad spots and put together a stack nearly twice that of 2nd place chips going into the FT. Going to a FT with a huge lead puts a lot of pressure on you but it gives you the ability to play your game and remain patient the longest.

The final table was pretty uneventful until we got down to 4 handed play. Myself and one other player had around 300k and the two others had around 100 to 150k. We kept trading the chip lead between all of us since the blinds were pretty high at this point 3500/7k. I did have on advantage, it did appear I was the only one allowing myself a strong chance at seizing the victory. I kept stealing blinds and pots pretty liberally and between picking up some hands I boosted my stack up to around 600k after eliminating the player who had 2nd place chips going into 4 handed play.

3 handed play was pretty eventful I picked up lots of pots from the other two players until they were both so short that I forced them into corners that they could not get out of and when I hit a flop I put the pressure on and they ended up with second best hands on the river. So victory for me, taking down a 645 man event on my first big weekend back. I do love PLO8!!!

Well there are many more things I would like to discuss with everyone and share but for now I think this is enough...until next time my friends, I hope all is well in your lives.

May your cards run hot this week.

I had a fantastic time at my grandma's house last night she made some really great food and I got to hang out with my sister and her soon to be husband (wedding due Jan. 2). I came home and crashed!

I woke up and joined the MTT in force! I entered several NLHE events, HORSE, PLO8, Mixed Holdem, Omaha and such. I got myself very very deep into the PLO8 event and I played well entering the bubble play picking up chips left and right and entered the final table 5th in chips. I had enough chips to stay patient and wait for decent hands and situations and I chipped my way up and entered heads up play even in chips, unforunately I flopped a str8 and flush draw against a low and flush draw and he made the flush to scoop me on the end but all things considered I am so happy about my performance at the final table.

I was also pleased with my success in HORSE I entered a tournament with 165 players and was up and down early on and ended up 11th overall, which was a pat on the back considering I was sitting 22 of 25 at the end. I am so proud to cash in a mixed event.

I did not do to well in the PLO or other NLHE events I entered other than the 4 man shoot out where I finished 46 of 926 which was an ok cash about 8x BI. Finally I played in the mixed holdem event and built up a chip lead early and nearly went wire to wire but what did matter was the fact I won it. Only 60 players entered the event but a win is a win and I feel vindicated after my 2nd place in the PLO8 event. I would give more detail to hands and how I played but I really need to sleep before work and I am a little drunk on Shiraz wine. I hope all is well with everyone else. Take care and enjoy your holiday week.

Cruising at the 21 player left mark I had the chip lead. Kind of swayed between 30 and 40k in chips but held strong down the final 11. I sat 2nd in chips and felt god that I could take this event down. I was fortunate to eliminate the 10th player with a PP that out out flopped his smaller PP.

So the final table began with me sitting with 60 and 2nd place sat directly to my left with 45k. I felt confident that I could really take command of the table. About 10 hands in I get dealt KhKs I raise from EP and get to callers on the CO and BU the flop is T97 with 3 hearts, I make a bet about potsize which would set both players all in and they both quickly called showing AJ with the Jack of hearts and the other guy Showed J7. Unfortunately for me the 8 rolled right off and I was unable to make the flush on the end this blow left me with 46k which was good for 2nd place. 2 hands later I am dealt the AdAs I raise pot and get called by the 3rd place stack from the SB the flop is 943 with 2 clubs and he bets out and I move him in, he quickly calls with AQ of clubs and rolled the 8 of clubs on the river to double through me and leaving me with about 12k in chips. I battled it out with what I had and picked up a couple of thousand with 88 after a postflop fold. The next and last big hand was a min raise from EP from a loose player and I called from the SB with AQ the flop is A83 with two spades I hold the queen of spades and check raise all in and he shows AK...lovely and I brick out on my flush and my Q and end out in 7th place. I am frustrated with my misfortune at this point but nothing I could do different than what I already did, the hands played themselves and I got my money in good 2 out of 3 times and just couldnt get it finished. Maybe next time, not much you can do in my situation but Ill look it over after some sleep.



I hope you all run better at your final tables tonight than I did, take that tournament down and tell me about it.

So after deciding to play LO8 for a higher limit than I am accustomed to, I donked off several buy ins, some of them were just playing hands bad and several were 3-4 outers to get scooped.

After having a dismal few days I decided to take Wednesday off and get back into things Thursday. I joined the quintuple shoot out on stars and to keep a long story short I finished 2nd of 887 for a nice little take down just about getting me back to even for the week to date. I played 1 sng on Friday which was an 8 game turbo and I took that down more effortlessly than ever before so props to getting hit with the deck and playing well.

Right now Im playing in 1 tournament that brought 135 players into this PLHE event, we are down the final 16, and I am a clear 2nd in chips, not bad for the end of the week and now being up for 25 hours on only a couple hours of sleep, wish me luck.

Peace

The back half of my week was really up and down for me as far as poker went. I did not play particularly well and when I did get my chips in good it didn't go my way, which is how it goes more times than not in poker.

So after knowing I didn't play well over the week I sat down to play well tihs evening in tournaments. I joined a large PLO8 field and an even larger NLHE turbo field, I finished just shy of the money in a 5k man NLHe turbo event and that was frustrating to me but I shook it off quickly and really focused into my PLO8 event. I never had a large stack for the majority of the event and I did manage to build up some chips with good bubble play and ended up finishing 37th of 527 which is certainly a nice finish.

The final hand is worth a little discussion. I picked up QhThJc9h in late position raised the minimum which had been my constant raise at this stage of the event. I get called by both players in the blind and we see a flop of 3hQs2h, not a bad flop for my hand I have made a big pair and I have a flush redraw, obviously in Hi/Lo I am not crazy about seeing the low cards but if I had to pick two lows to see it would be 2-3 since players playing A2 and A3 have now counterfeit their primary lows. Both players checked to me and I decided to stick my neck out with a half pot bet and get called by both players which had me well covered. The turn was as good as I could expect with Td and again both players checked to me. At this point I am confident both players are drawing if someone had flopped a set, that turn card is a good one to apply the pressure so it seemed likely the were either on a flush draw and since I had 3 hearts in my hand they were a considerable underdog to get there, so low/straight draws seemed most likely. I made a pot sized bet which was 19k at the 600/1200 leaving me about 4k behind. I was shocked to see the SB call and the BB move in for like 9k more the SB went into the tank and eventually called. The SB showed As8h7s4s for the nut low draw and the BB showed AhKd6h9s. I was ahead at this point with 55.56% equity ahead of the Bb who had 19.44% and the SB with 25.00% equity, and unfortunately for me the river was a heart busting me out of the tournament. But I do think I played this hand as well as I could have and I was surprised I was in as good of shape as I was after I saw both players get there chips in.

After that bust out I watched some EPT Prague coverage and was rooting heavily for Andrew Chen but I ended up going to bed before seeing him bust in 3rd which woulda I meant I went to bed anyway, I had zero interest in either of the other two italians in winning.

Tonight I hopped into the saddle again and joined 3 MTT tournaments, an 8 game, PLO and No Limit 2-7 single draw which I had never played before outside of play money for like 30 minutes of playing time.

I played tighter than most of the 27 other players in the 2-7 event and ended up with a pretty decent stack heading into the final two tables. We played 7 handed and only 4 people received returns on their entries. I battled and battled during the 13 down to 7 and entered the final table 5th in chips. I knew I needed to accumulate some chips and I did so with a pretty interesting hand..atleast interesting from my limited view of the game. The short stack limped in UTG and the 2nd biggest stack called behind. I had 2347J and I decided to shove and try to pick up the pot right there since I had 12bb or so. The shortie called for about 25% of my total and the big stack thought forever before calling. I had every intention of tossing the Jack and going for a 7 low when the short stack discarded 3 and the big stack 2, I was now faced with a tought decision, do I risk breaking my smooth Jack against both players when they drew so many. I am a favorite to hold up with just a Jack and I figure I only really have to beat the big stack for the side so I decided to hold the J7432 and the two opponents ended up making a K and Q respectively and I won a pot which pushed me into 3rd in chips with 6 to go.

I had to really fight to stay alive because I went completely card dead at this point and I picked a couple of spots to pick up blinds but for the majority of it, it was spent folding trash. I was fortunate to bust out in 4th place and take down 3xBI but the pride I felt was worth much more than the money since I had never played this game before and I managed to cash in a 28 man field.

The 8 game didn't go well for me and I was pretty card dead through the middle stages and I shoved in the NLHE section with AA and was called by you guessed it A8s and lost to 3 8s on the turn, so is life.

Though my PLO tournament went well in the end. I was pretty card dead (noticing a theme anyone?) but I managed a short stack double up just before the money and ended up making the final table in this 89 man field eventually busting out 5th after entering 5th in chips. I did go on a nice hit running my stack from 7k initially at the final table to 18k but took some beats to sink back to earth.

Now that I have handled all of these house keeping issues, I think I will take a break and actually eat something since I have been awake now for 6 hours without anything but a cup of coffee and a half diet coke. I will play more tomorrow as well assuming I sleep well before my works christmas party, though keep your fingers crossed for me since its supposed to snow something massive between now and then and I only have a sports car.

Good fortune at the tables my friends, until next time.

I played a 160 man Stud 8 mtt this morning and I think it was my 3rd or maybe my 4th ever stud 8 mtt and I really played well until the final table started, I went in 3rd in chips and took some beats and played a couple of hands badly. But I recorded a video from 36 players ish down to my eventual finish at 4th, I even took a beat to get out had JJ vs 88 no low on either hand going into 6th and he made 2 pair and I was unable to outdraw him. So my final table drought from the weekend and with it being Stud 8 I am very happy with my finish.

Take care all.

I am not sure what else to say...finished 28 of 396 in PLO8 a frustrating result at the end for sure but cash is cash. I played in several other events and nearly cashed in 8 game and HORSE but just couldnt over come the roadblocks.

Bubbled the final table in Mixed Holdem after misclicking...atleast that is what I want to call it. I was one of the big stacks going into the final 18 in the 6 handed match. The final 6 would all cash, so I also bubbled the money all at once. I played very well for the whole tournament only to blow up against a maniac who had managed two pretty impressive suck outs against me the most brutal was AK vs AQ when we both paired our kicker only for him to double through me on the river when he hit his 2 outer...BRUTAL! I really shouldnt have misplayed my last hand like I had but i had 41% equity vs 48% against the player who could bust me.

I made it 3 rounds deep in the HU NLHE winner take all event. At the same time I played very well to finish 12th of 880 in a 4max shoot out event! I was one card away from advancing to the finals. I had a pretty big stack vs the 3 players at at my table, we all got in for all of our chips (well not me technically) but the winner would become the chip leader. I was the only one that showed up with a pocket pair (55) and the river paired AT to win the pot. I did my best to battle back with the short stack HU and lost with AK of clubs vs A2o, this happens from time to time but I played well to cash and go as deep as I did.

Finally I am still in a PLO event 202 started and we are currently down to 27 and I am 10th in chips with 23,325 with the blinds at 500/1000. So obviously I am by no means comfortable with my position in chips vs the structure so I will have to make the best of my oppurtunities. We are well into the money of 36 players so atleast I have added another cash to the weekend. Unfortunately this is my last oppurtunity to make a final table. Which will now not appear to happen since I just crippled myself in a pot 23k down to 800 in chips rofl..

Ohwell it was a nice run in my events this weekend. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends and got to spend time with their loved ones.

On a different note, I read a quote today while I was surfing the net and it really hit me. I am a total quote nut and I have 100s stuck between my ears and I will share them with people whenever I think they apply to a situation, it is a weird thing I do, I guess everyone has collections mine just happens to be quotes. Anyway the quote is, Love is the slowest suicide. This certainly seems to apply to my situation in life as well as a very close friend of mine who is dealing with the same issue. It is also said misery loves company so it is a small solace knowing other people go through what I am feeling and I will hope they survived, so with some luck so will I.

Now that I have worked myself into a tangent I will spill this too. I think its very important to tell people the truth, I am not talking about not lying (which is certainly important too) but I mean telling someone how you feel. Generally this only really applies to telling someone you care about them or you are in love with them, rather than telling them you want to slap them silly. It takes a great deal of courage for me to do that and it really is the hardest thing i really have to face. Poker is cake compared to telling someone, "Hey, I think you are wonderful."

Maybe it is easier for others to do it but for me its so hard to put myself out there without a safety net I could very well fall face first. Matters of the heart always are the most complicated especially to me where I cannot control it or analyze it. It just is this feeling that you can ignore and telling someone how you feel is truly beautiful and scary all at once.

I mention it because poker is hard when you have other things on your mind. For the last couple of months poker has been this escape from boredom and the status quo. It gave me an outlet to use my brain and be creative and analyze something. When I would sit down to play I was pretty focused on the task at hand and it really showed in my results. Every weekend I looked forward to the grind of tournaments and keeping my streak alive. But this weekend I did not even realize the streak was on the line until after a whole day was behind me. I really did not play as much as I usually do. I am going through a lot of changes right now and I am not really sure its fair to burden you guys with the details. I do know however that it really affected my ability to focus and maintain control. I had several blow ups deep in tournaments that I feel I would not have made a few weeks ago. I was just so darned impatient and frustrated and I still had decent results, dont get me wrong it was by no means a failure of a weekend. I am on track for my VIP points and in decent shape as far as the bankroll goes. But I am looking to the future in a way I never have before and I want poker to become an even bigger part of my life but I am conflicted.

Poker at this point in my life really is by no means a profession, I don't spend the hours or invest the money into it to make it a full time job and at this point I am not sure I am ready for that. I do know that I have been winning consistently just doing what I have been doing and I know I can really improve in so many areas of my game with some added attention and dedication. But I can't help but think that there are things in my life that I want that might atleast short term cost me poker. It could very well be a permenant thing, I mean I could still play but I will not have the chance to make it a full time gig and give myself a chance to strike it big. I want a family and a loving wonderful partner that I am nuts over. The more I think about what I want out of life the more I realize how poker conflicts with it.

What I mean is, I have never found anyone who knows what poker means to me and supports me in it. I do have my best friend who is far closer than anyone ever has been to understanding why I am this way about a simple game and she has been also very supportive and I am very very thankful for that. But as far as accepting that right now I really cannot have both and all the hours I spend playing poker and being a student of the game takes away the time I need to invest into pursuing love and potentially a family.
A part of me wants very much to just wave my hands at the world and focus on nothing but poker. I would still work a job until I had the funds and the stats to play poker for a living but there is this part of me and its too big not to notice that I want to fall madly deeply in love with someone I know right now and I want to spend my time romancing her and getting her to fall for me.

I love poker and the game makes me very happy but the thing in my life that makes me the happiest is seeing this woman I know laugh and smile. I really shouldn't feel like I do for her because I don't know her all the well and I could think of 100 reasons right off the bat of why it would never work out in the end but..... I cannot ignore that when I will get the chance to look at her and she looks at me, and I stare into her eyes in total silence, that moment makes me happier than poker ever has...this woman means something to me and I have no idea what to do.

Last weekend when I made my final table, I imagined her watching me play a final table of a live event. I have thought about what it would be like to make a final table of a big buy in event where first place is well over a million bucks, I would envy winning that braclet or trophy and accomplishing something that could never be taken from me. Who hasn't seen a tournament on TV and not imagine in detail what it would be like for them. But this time the money, the prestige, the pride wasn't the reason I was imagining it, it was to look over in the stands and see her and know that I was not playing for myself, I was playing for and her being there was all I needed at the end of the day. My tournament success wouldn't be for ME it would be even more so for someone else, someone that mattered to me more than poker and mattered more than my own accomplishments.

This all might seem silly but its all I have been able to think about for the past two weeks or so and it is very distracting when I am trying to sit down and play quality poker. But maybe just maybe....if I work hard enough, get lucky enough...someday years from now I will sit at a major final table, playing on the biggest stage of my life and when all of that cash is spread across the table and that braclet sits atop the fortune, my focus will not be on oogling all of those dollars or the shiney token of the win....it will be looking into the eyes of the person who means the most to me on this planet and if I am fortunate enough to win and even if I fall short, I will have a person that I love with all of my being, sitting there when its all over. That moment when I look into her eyes, the room will grow silent, and there will be no need for words to be exchanged between us, it will be the greatest moment I could ever imagine.

Think about what matters the most to you and why you play poker and maybe it will give you some insight into your heart.....

This weekend so far I have been out of my brain and out of the house. I have been apartment shopping and finally found one that I like and signed some paperwork, move in date January 10.

As for I have cashed in multiple MTT and just missed some final tables in PLO and PLO8 twice. I did not realized until late that my streak is on the line this weekend and I need to make a final table this morning to keep it alive so wish me luck. I have been doing well in 8 game cash to offset my overall negative ROI in my tournaments. I have also been playing NLO8 for kicks and have been doing so so in that game.

I am in a few MTT and waiting for a few more to start, wish me luck.

A new month and a fresh start the the VIP grind. The week has been good to me so far, winning sessions each day at 8 game. I was really pleased with my performance yesterday when I was 4 tabling 8 game. I think 4 tables will be my limit at the moment because you have to really be paying attention during the stud games and with it only being 6 handed there is a lot of action.

I am looking forward to the weekend. I hope to have another dash at the MTTs on Saturday night and ofcourse I will keep everyone posted on how that goes ofcourse. I will plan to do some heavy grinding maybe even 24 tabling NLHE again on Sunday and really get some hands in then. My goal as far as MTT goes is to play in as many omaha and omaha 8 tournaments as possible and try to get in atleast one 8 game event.

See you all on the flip side.