As my blog title would suggest, I'm not having a good run in tournaments... Last year I was Canterbury Park's Fall Poker Classic player of the year, which has made me play the events this year in a quest to try to defend my title. With two to go, I've cashed in 0 of them (played all of the points-qualifying ones but one...). The good news is that If I go first and 2nd in the last two, I could still retain that title if nobody else accumulates any more points than the current #1 ;) Oh well. I think I've been actually playing them pretty well, but have ran bad at times -- specifically with regards to rarely winning flips, and being in standard reshove spots with hands such as AJ that commonly get ran into aces, etc. The structure of these tournaments are such that they would probably be more accurately labeled as turbos (apart from the main event and perhaps the two $500 NLs), and I think I've been gambling appropriately without going overboard. I can't complain however, I ran well enough to win their $1500 tourney in August.

One of the things that's refreshing about Canterbury is that there's a person there who is honestly the most happy-go-lucky person ever. I mean like in the, "I'm just happy to be on Earth, breathing" type of way -- in a way that seems totally 100% genuine and is really likeable. It makes me ask myself how long has it been since I've felt that impassionedly blessed, just to be in the here and now, with that sort of giddy-euphoric sense of joy for no particular reason. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person, and I'm grateful for who I am and what is in my life -- that said, I think the last time I've ever taken a breath of air, and felt that ever so rare happy-chill-go-down-my-spine for no real reason of jubiliation other than just because, was in 7th grade. I could be wrong about this, but I don't think so.

The moment I'm thinking of was several months after I broke my leg (pretty badly... think of the break like a jar of pillsbury croissant dough, the break spiraling all the way up my tibia) playing football, and I was finally able to take my first walk without stumbling over. If you've never had a leg in a full cast for 4 months, let me just say that you lose almost all your muscle mass and your leg becomes an unsightly twig. I remember the doctors sawing off my cast and telling me that it'd take probably a week or two before I'd actually be able to walk, to which I obviously assumed they were idiots and tried to take a step, only to topple over under my own weight. I remember feeling so dejected that those crutches I had used for four months, wouldn't be put away in the closet and that I'd still be wearing a removable-walking cast. And then, I remember the first time I was finally able to put all my body weight on both legs and successfully take a few steps without losing my balance or toppling to the ground. In that moment of time, I took a breath, and truly felt a sense of euphoria and feeling of aliveness like what I tried to describe at the beginning of this story.

I don't think I really have any point in typing that, other than perhaps my thoughts showcase one of the downsides to living a life which you spend too much time striving for more and more and thinking of the future and never being truly satisfied with where you're at -- rather than taking the time to relax and soak things in for the greatness they often are. I sometimes consider whether I should try working some grungy, horribly unsatisfying and tiring job with crappy hours for a few months, just so my eyes can be opened up to the real world that so many people face, to remind myself how awesome of a life that my poker playing provides -- and maybe even get another one of those spine-tingling-giddy-feeling-for-no-reason feelings after the fact.

All of that said, things are still going super well online. Here's a link to how things have been going in $50/100+ since I started my 'grinidcore' quest on September 2nd (and probably the last image link I provide in awhile because I've done enough bragging lately in this blog):

http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/1148/sincegrindcorecj3.jpg