Recently I tweeted "One of the top reasons people suck at poker: refusing to accept reality; don't kid yourself, you're not that good and should try to get better". I wanted to expand on that and obviously couldn't do it on twitter since we're limited to 140 characters per tweet. So I am doing so here.

The fact of it is that most poker players are wrong when judging their skill level relative to everybody else. There are two reasons for this. The first reason is due to lack of awareness, specifically of oneself. This is a passive personality trait (character makeup might be a better term) and if you lack it, then you'll never know unless somebody tells you (hey, I tried to tweet it to you guys that needed to hear it). It reminds me of the funny quote "I hope I'm not so dumb that I don't realize I'm dumb" and while being dumb and lacking self awareness are not the same, the idea is the same.

The second reason is because we refuse to admit we are not good at something. I'm not a psychologist (or is it psychiatrist?) but I'm trying to interpret why people do this. I guess you can say it's because of ego. While that explains it sometimes, I think other times we just don't want to admit any of our shortcomings. This is much more occurrent among males for obvious reasons (trying to establish dominance among males goes back to our caveman days, pretty much applies to every species on Earth so men shouldn't feel bad about this). There also seems to be a correlation...the bigger your ego is, the more blinded you become.

Now here's something surprising for people that know me. As someone that's been successful at poker for many years, I've been guilty of both...lacking awareness and, yes, having an ego. I think as humans we all have varying degrees of both. It's a matter of how much and whether it's a detriment to your growth over the long run. If so, you need to open your eyes (gain awareness) or suppress your ego.

About 4 years ago I was absolutely crushing the $5/$10 nl games online where I was the biggest winner (before Poker TableRatings, which tracks online cash game results, there were people that would datamine all hands across sites and report them in poker forums to list the winners and losers). Well the list came out and I would top it consistently and a few regs (w/ egos obviously) berated me in the forums and questioned how I can win so much when I made some fundamental mistakes (reason: I was better than most at hand reading, adjusting to tendencies, and just never tilting). Basically online poker was (and actually still is) a d**k waving contest, although I never got involved in those contests. I did fire back at the haters a little...after all they were dragging my screenname through the mud. Basically I just pointed to my results. I guess I had some ego (as explained later), maybe self-pride to defend myself when it probably wasn't necessary.

The funny thing was they were right. They pointed out my mistakes and what I was doing wrong (to try to justify why I wasn't that great at poker). Well I couldn't thank them enough because they basically coached me for free and found leaks in my game that I was unaware of. I spent the next year working on the correct fundamentals (and still work on them to this day) and became a much better poker player, opening my eyes and giving me plenty of "aha" moments.

As for ego, we've all gone through good runs where we felt like we were the best. I was guilty of that a couple of times....I want to blame it on human nature....when things are going right, you feel invincible, when things are going wrong, you question yourself. I've done a pretty good job of keeping it in check though....I guess the humility in me just overpowers it. I recommend everybody to find your humility and let it grow...I know for a few of you, that's almost an impossible task, but it's possible...seriously one can not be humble enough. The only exception I would make would be if you depended on the media and fame to make money...eg a Phil Hellmuth or Mike Matusow type where being a cocky jackass leads to sponsorship deals, even then it's not so great...after all do you want the general public to think you're a cocky ass?

So don't feel bad if you're just reflecting on yourself and realizing you're not as good as you thought you were. I've had this epiphany several times over the years. It's a good thing, trust me. This is a very important step in becoming a better poker player, as well as a better person.

As for the title of the blog, being the GOAT (Greatest of all time) is usually detrimental to most...actually to everybody but the actual GOAT...ducy? If not, reread this blog. ;)

It's been awhile since I blogged. A couple of years ago I was blogging 3-4x/month while I was boldly pursuing a 7 figure year in poker. Back then there were plenty of online games for me to try to reach my goal. Unfortunately I fell a few hundred thousand dollars short. I did have a pretty good year overall. Oh how things have changed since.

We all know about Black Friday. Considering my main site was Full Tilt Poker I had nearly my entire online roll on there. I'm happy Stars+DOJ is working together to pay us back but I'm approaching it w/ cautious optimism (word is Americans won't get 100% of our money back). I also went through other turmoil in my life, as my dad was diagnosed w/ terminal stomach cancer (shortly after Black Friday). After the diagnosis I took my parents into my home so my dad could spend his last days w/ all of us (including my daughter and his only grandchild that he doted on) and I watched every day as my dad got weaker and eventually pass away last November. I will never forget picking up my kid and her asking why she wasn't taking the bus home and me answering that grandpa died and then seeing her turn away and wipe away tears.

Never had I gone through such a heartbreaking and gut wrenching ordeal in my life seeing my dad pass away. I've always been grateful for things in my life and have felt blessed in many ways (I thank God for) but losing somebody so close was tough to handle. I went into a shell and basically did not want to do anything for awhile. To get my mind off of it I turned to video games (it's the Asian and nerd in me) and played no poker.

Well in life anything can happen and while we were prepared for my dad's death, there was a shocker in our family about a month later when my cousin who's a couple of years older than me suddenly passed away. He had brought his wife and 2 little girls from Korea a few years ago to give them a better life in the U.S. My family and his family were close and we visited each other often, his in Los Angeles, mine in Las Vegas. While I was still mourning the passing of my dad, I was shocked, as were the rest of my family at the passing of my cousin. This was totally unexpected, especially considering he didn't have any significant health problems (coroner ruled heart attack). It really felt like I had been hit in the stomach twice.

I didn't answer calls or talk to anybody (except for my family) for a couple of months. I've always been the loner type and have tried to solve problems on my own. Even w/ poker the majority of my improvements have been thinking and analyzing the game on my own (w/ the help of forums, videos, and books). I don't advocate this approach though because it's easier and more productive to have a network of people to discuss things w/. Anyway I neglected some things in my life (but not family) including my friends and my coaching site. I also went into some financial turmoil for the first time ever. It's not because I lost money at poker or anything else, but because I spent no time trying to make money for several months and I spent a lot of money taking care of my family and extended family during my dad's last days. It was also a combination of other things financial that I won't get into because it's personal. I also had other personal issues that were causing me a lot of stress. I won't get into it but my closest friends know about it (it's not health related so I'm ok).

Well I resumed poker this year and the last thing I needed was to run bad, but that's what happened. I started off grinding on Merge and some live poker and I ran about as bad as I've ever run (including a month where I ran 40 buyins below ev). The past 12 months just felt like a perfect storm of unfortunate events for me. Prior to that the worst thing that's ever happened to me was a 400k hands break even stretch (back in 2008, which also happened to be my most profitable year). In between I also played a lot of WSOP events and lost some money but not enough where it was considered a disaster. I'm realistic so losing money grinding WSOP events didn't bother me.

I've always been a person of faith (Christianity) + realist (yes they can coexist together) + optimist but it took a lot of inner strength to pick myself up during these extremely difficult times. I thank God for it. I also think one's approach to life is vital in times like these. Actually the way we approach life determines the legacy we leave behind, and I hope that I and everybody else approach life where there are no regrets and the world is a better place after we pass on. I'm reminded of Steve Jobs saying live every day like it was your last and make the world a better place, not only for you, but for everybody else.

I guess since the people reading this are mostly poker players I should leave some advice that's poker related. Here it is: During this entire time, whenever I played poker, whether it was live cash, a WSOP event, or online poker, I was focused on playing the best I could that I can't look back and say I played poorly at any point. So no matter how bad things are going, don't let it affect your game, don't let it affect your decisions on the poker table, and more importantly don't let it affect your decisions in life.

The last thing I want to say is that the last 3 months have been good for me in poker (outside of the WSOP). I've been winning consistently. Going forward I plan on being more active w/ my live poker coaching site stackemcoaching and here at Cardrunners, helping others improve their games, blogging more, getting more involved in charitable things, improving as a poker player, spending time w/ family, but most importantly growing into the man my dad and God always envisioned me to be.

What will your legacy be?

It's been awhile since I've blogged and while I can go down the expected path of talking about the upcoming WSOP I'm actually going to discuss a cool hand I was in the other day in a live tournament. I tweeted this yesterday and it generated quite a discussion. I was in the Venetian Deep Stack $400 event (getting some live tournament practice in before WSOP). Blinds were 400/800/75, utg + 1 (a competent player w/ an above avg. stack opens to 2k, 2 older guys in mp call, I'm in the co w/ JTo and a stack of 4600 (5.5bbs) and I tank. I always talk about spots where some things may seem obvious, if you think hard enough there may be a better alternative, for all forms of poker, actually for all decision making in life. This felt like one of those spots.

Whereas the obvious looks like a fold because my hand is weak, especially multiway, and I have zero fold equity if I shove, I felt like this is a spot where I can choose an alternative line and make it a +ev spot. If I min 3bet to 3200, the 3 remaining players are likely to fold and there's a good chance the utg + 1 opener repops it to isolate me creating a pot of 10,500 after I call all in. This gives me a price of about 2.3 to 1. Shane Schleger via twitter (who told me this is a fold before hearing my analysis) broken down a reasonable iso range of 22+, A9s+, ATo+, and QJ+ and JTo was 37% vs. that range. If this is correct then I only need about 2 to 1 to make it a profitable play, so we are able to put ourself in a +ev spot. Sure it's not much more and if we think about the value of surviving then it's close (maybe even a fold) but if we think strictly in terms of chip ev then it's a great play.

Let me go over why min 3betting is superior to shoving when we're trying to get iso'ed here. By min 3betting to 3200 vs. shoving for 4600, we increase the probability we get iso'ed because the 4better has to risk less of his stack to iso. Also if everybody calls and the flop comes down horribly for us (234 monotone, etc.) we can fold and conserve our last 1400 (people have come back from 2bbs to win tournaments). We also accomplish what we're trying to do, which is get reraised and isolated.

I was disagreed by many, including some notable tournament players. Their arguments ranged from "wait for a better spot", "what if everybody just calls", and "too many things have to go right". After hearing their arguments I had a hard time agreeing w/ them because the math proves it's a +ev spot IF you get it hu (it becomes more complicated when called, but again you have some equity and you have 1400 left. My friend stoved it vs. reasonable calling ranges and said we're 25% vs. 3, but I think it's less since we have cards within callers' calling ranges. This shows we're not even that bad of a shape even if we go multiway). Now I'm not the most polished tournament player (although I can hold my own) and maybe I eschew the survival aspect over ev sometimes (as a cash game player I'm wired to push every ounce of positive ev), but I still felt like w/ my 5.5 bb stack this was a good spot as any to more than double up.

Also I noted the 2 callers were straightforward older guys, meaning they're never trapping here w/ premium hands and the raiser was competent. This is relevant because the raiser probably knows this as well and is more likely to reraise to get it hu. Also if the player is good he should always reraise because while I'm getting 2.3 to 1 hu, he is getting 2.3 to 1 hu as well and there is no hand in his range where he is -ev getting this good of a price vs. my range, at minimal risk to his stack too. Also while his initial opening range is offering 1875 to 2k (so he's about 1 to 1), he should widen his iso range because he'll be getting 2.3 to 1 (sure he may get a caller, but again that's unlikely, especially when we see that his range consists of all the premium hands vs. the callers') which in turn probably makes me better than 37% vs. his iso range.

Another argument against was that one of the 3 behind can wake up w/ a hand, but again that's ok because now I'm getting a better price at the expense of lowering my winning % and if he has a good hand he will definitely 4bet and iso me which is what I want. Also the argument that we can wait for a better spot doesn't seem to hold much water to me (maybe some mathematical mtt guy can determine if this is actually true, calling Colin Moshman?)...we have 5.5bbs, we don't have that many hands left and we should get called always when we shove.

I knew the tournament guys were wrong when a couple of them said it's a fold, wait for better spot when I said what if there are 6 callers to you. This would lead to us getting 4-1 or better in a spot where we have at least 33% equity (assuming it gets hu again). Now I know if you're foregoing this you should give up poker, tournament poker or not. Also threw out what if you're in the bb (so no more left to act)...then we should definitely try to get it hu and create a highly favorable spot for us.

It's funny that the only guys that either agreed w/ me or thought my thought process was cool were high stakes online cash game players including CPar1 and BalugaWhale. CR's Mark Tyson also thought like me as well. Either we're tournament fish or we're on a level of thinking above most tournament players. My friend Joe Tehan also agreed w/ me (and I consider him a genius at poker) and even pointed out why min 3betting is superior to shoving (although I had to show him why reraising was best in the 1st place).

As for what actually happened I tank folded because I knew the ev was close and while I was pretty sure it was +ev, I wasn't sure if it was enough to risk my tournament life (mid stages). Turns out sb 3bet, bb shortie called all in, initial raiser folded, 1 mp folded, and 2nd mp decided to gamble all in(I guess you can argue that's why I shouldn't do because people might spazz, but then it's still not that bad). The hands were 88, 77, and KQo and I would've more than quadrupled up because I would've won (but results don't matter). I do welcome all comments and questions about this hand (even if you disagree, as long as you can explain why).

Anyway my plan this summer is to play a full schedule of WSOP events and pass on most of the live cash games. While this is -ev for me (my earning power in cash games>tournaments) I enjoy the atmosphere and everything else that comes w/ playing WSOP events. Also I want to win a bracelet (but then who doesn't)!

Also for those looking to improve their live games (especially in time for the WSOP), check out my personal coaching site www.stackemcoaching.com . Right now we're offering a promotional discounted price of $19.95/month for a monthly subscription. Also I've been doing more 1 on 1 coaching, including live (I mean live as in person) sweats. I've been playing some $1/$2 and $2/$5 games w/ students around Vegas and I must say live games are still great (at those stakes anyway). If anybody is interested in live sessions or even the typical online sweat sessions my coaching profile is up at my site (although I probably won't have time to take students until after the WSOP, but this is just a hu for those that may be interested).

So I received a lot of requests for free coaching. I really wasn't sure how many I'd receive but due to time constraints I knew I wouldn't be able to spend too much time coaching. After all I needed to grind some poker to make up for the last 2-3 months. Plus w/ family obligations and running a coaching site I was probably biting off more than I could chew. Nonetheless I ended up giving out more free lessons than originally planned. For those of you that were not selected, I'm sorry. I went back and forth on how many people I'd take on, and believe it or not I almost decided to take on everybody that applied but then I figured out that wasn't realistic due to time constraints.

As for poker, I am back on the grind again. I dabbled a couple of times at nl200 and nl400 online and did ok. I've played more live because I've been hanging out w/ poker friends and we've been playing on the same tables making poker fun (nothing like owning friends in poker...it's ok because these guys crush).

A couple of nights ago a friend and I were at Caesar's Palace checking out the WSOP circuit scene and cash games. Turns out the biggest game was $2/$5nl but it was uncapped and I decided to buy in for $1500 (since I only had $3k on me, so 2 bullets). Well there was a guy that had $12k in front of him....bb equivalent = 2400bbs. He was pretty splashy but not crazy where he'd risk a lot of money running insane bluffs or calling big bets down lightly. Anyway he was good for the game.

Anyway very 1st hand I sit down, utg opr to $20, 2 calls, and I look down at J4s. Utg just sat down and it was his 1st hand as well. Well I recognized him as he was a live Vegas pro. We also had a little bit of history at bigger stakes including $5/$10 and $10/$20 around town. I never saw him playing $2/$5 before so I figured he might try to control the table since it was smaller than I had seen him playing. Well w/ me being there I was not going to let that go down.

Anyway I decided to 3bet him to $130 because I wanted to show him I meant business (and the fact that we were 300bbs deep and it was live poker meant for a slightly bigger 3bet than normal). When I 3bet him I almost felt the 4bet coming, and sure enough it did, to the tune of $360.



Sure he could've had a hand, but more likely it was basically him saying "well I know who you are and I'm not going to let you 3bet me tonight and I'm going to control the table therefore here's a 4bet to get you to fold your trash"....or maybe he did have KK or AA.

Or maybe not, so I decided to 5bet...the question was how much? I wasn't sure 5betting to $700 or so was that great because he might decide to shove TT-QQ and I'd probably call (given the pot odds). Finally I just decided to put in the last aggressive action and shoved for $1500 total (and possibly fold those 3 pps).....



and he snap folded. It's pretty mandatory that you have to show at least one bad card when you pull off something like this so I did show the table the 4.



So was this suicidal? No, because his 4bet range was wide and I get to put in the last action. Also he may call w/ AK and I'm only a 3-2 dog vs. that hand and about 4-1 dog vs rest of his calling range of QQ+. Yes the odds aren't great but w/ the fe it was close. I thought it became +ev when I included the other variables of the situation. I get to set a tone to the table and him that I was here to gamble and wasn't afraid to go broke in any spot (less bluffs aimed at me so less tough situations). After all, I just sat down...imagine how the others would be licking their chops (esp. the guy w/ $12k) if they saw me go broke for 300bbs w/ J4s preflop (and sometimes I may win!). I am pretty good at adjusting my game based on others' perceptions of me so I felt like others would make mistakes the rest of the session based off this 1st hand. I do think I would've been able to regain the slight equity I gave up in that 1st hand w/ future hands (after all I just sat down and I'm sure everybody were going to play for awhile trying to win money off the middle aged Asian dude who stuck in 300bbs w/ J4s preflop 1st hand!)

Anyway I ended up winning a few hundred in the session (took a beat w/ AQ on a A63AK board when opponent held KK) but nothing matched the fun of the 1st hand. Live poker's been going well and I've been really enjoying it so I may play a little more live than online for now (that may change anytime though). If you guys want to follow along w/ other cool hands and adventures around town (really just the grind of a Vegas pro, but I'm cool!) feel free to follow me on twitter at https://twitter.com/#!/nicolakpoker.

Oh and I did an interview recently for Pokernews w/ Kristy Arnett just talking about the mindset of being a professional poker player along w/ a few other things. You can check it out here... PokernewsInterview .

Before I get to the free lessons I'm offering, you'll have to read some including why I'm offering free poker lessons. I haven't blogged in a while...heck I've blogged probably 3x-4x in the past 6 months after blogging weekly for the 18 months prior.

As you know I've been dealing w/ a ton of adversity the past 6 months. After having a mildly unsuccessful WSOP (which is usually to be expected so no biggie) my dad passed away from cancer then my cousin passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. Also Black Friday happened and unfortunately most of my online roll was on Full Tilt Poker. I'm just kissing that money goodbye. Also my homes are about $800k under water due to terrible timing in buying (Las Vegas 2005 and 2006 housing market can go to hell). Also I've been running absurdly bad in cash games post WSOP, although I'm actually up a little. Granted I haven't played a whole lot for a few reasons (lack of online games, lack of hands in live poker). A big reason why I haven't played much is because, well, I just haven't had the desire to play.

I guess that's somewhat expected w/ all the stuff I had to deal with. Also I had other personal issues that consumed some of my time (not to mention giving me headaches). Along w/ bordering on burnout for the past 3 years from grinding the past decade (I'll touch on this subject in the future), I just didn't feel like playing any poker. Instead I spent time w/ my family and grinded video games to escape the realities of real life problems (not the answer I know). I guess you can say I'm an expert at Halo 3, COD 3, and NCAA Football 12 now.

I've always been an optimistic person and have always seen the glass half full. Everybody that knows me knows that I'm always in a good mood and poker never affects my life no matter how bad I run. But damn, a perfect storm of beats in poker and life (mostly life) really forced me into a shell that made me avoid all contact outside of my family. Heck I didn't even answer calls and texts from close friends sometimes (sorry guys). Ever a telling sign, I didn't watch a single NFL game weeks 14-17! The only poker stuff I did was make a couple of CR videos (and even those I was late getting to management, sorry Alex!) and defend my friend Joe Tehan in a couple of 2+2 threads.

I never thought I'd ever get in this frame of mind, considering how successful I've been in poker and life pretty much my whole adulthood (except for the time I dropped out of UCLA after my 3rd year to play poker full time, but then that didn't turn out so bad). I can honestly say I've been blessed and thank God (and still do) for all of it.

Anyway after wallowing in some misery (but never asking "why me?") and possibly facing a mid-life crisis (wow I sound old) I reflected on everything on my drive back to Vegas from Los Angeles tonight (after visiting my dad's cemetery site). My wife suggested I see a counselor but I knew I can resolve my state of mind by myself, well because, I always have. I've always had a keen sense of my surroundings (one of my attributes that's contributed to my success in poker) so I know what's going down and how to fix things. I've always been somewhat of a solitary person. Even my friends have told me lately I can always come to them to talk but idk, I am ok w/ resolving things on my own.

Anyway that leads to the free lessons. I'm offering 2-3 lessons to 2-3 people in live poker and 2-3 people in online poker. Why? Well I feel like I've neglected some duties w/ CR and my other coaching site Stack'em Coaching so I need to make it up somehow. Also I need to get my juices flowing in regards to poker.

Also I watched a documentary called "Superheros" on HBO last night and it documented real life people trying to be real life, you guessed it, superheros. As stupid and crazy as it may sound, the people portrayed were actually good people just trying to make the world a better place (actually a couple were just obsessed w/ being superheros). Most of their duties were watching out for crime and calling 911 when they saw any and helping out the homeless.

Well I respect people that go out of their way to help others, no matter how crazy it may seem, so why not help out people myself...doing what I know best, poker, specifically helping others get better at it. Yeah it will probably make me feel good...and heck the people that actually apply and get the lessons may actually improve their games!

Why should you consider me for lessons (free ones to boot!)? Well for a few reasons. I've been playing successfully from '98 to the present. I made $40k in '98 and $400k in 2008 and along the way improved and made more than the following year. Even 2009 and 2010 were good years but it's not easy to match 2008's results grinding mostly nl400-nl1k cash games. 2011 was not a very good year but I still cleared 6 figures (barely) amid Black Friday. I did this while having the added pressure of paying 2 mortgages, supporting a wife and a kid (although my wife can hold her own in poker), supporting other family members, contributing to retirement funds, and helping out broke friends (but no more on the latter since I'm basically burning my money). I also managed time to balance my life w/ things outside of poker, especially spending time w/ my wife and kid. So I can probably offer life advice for an aspiring poker player (if you need that).

Also I've received requests for coaching and my post Black Friday rate was $200/hr. So basically if I choose you you're making a free $400-$600 (now whether it's really worth that is a matter of opinion). Also there's a chance you may actually improve in poker! (or not).

Who can apply? Pretty much anybody. I don't care if you're a beginner, intermediate, heck, a 200-400nl player who just wants bad real estate advice or fantasy football lessons (oh wait, I lost in ff this year). You can ask for tournament or mixed game lessons...although nl cash games is my bread and butter.

The only stipulation is that I may request to record the live poker sessions for Stack'em or make leakfinder videos for CR if I feel it appropriate. I may or may not do this w/ the sessions.

I don't care where you live...but if you're in Vegas I'd be willing to do live sweat sessions, and for online over tv and skype.

Anyway for those interested you can email me at john@stackemcoaching.com or PM me here at CR. I'm thinking the deadline to get in requests is in a week or so, depending on how many I get.

Sup guys, been awhile. I recently put out part 1 of a 3 part series on midstakes on Merge. I play 4 tables of nl400 6max. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you guys think. I hope to get the 2nd and 3rd part to management this week. A lot has been happening in my life, just about everything bad.

My dad passed away from cancer about a month ago. I blogged about finding out he had terminal cancer a few months ago. I was having other personal issues that weren't easy to deal with. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, my cousin who moved to the US from Korea 4 years ago to become a professional poker player (against my wishes) bringing a wife and 2 little girls passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack last week. I just came back from my 2nd funeral of a very close family member within the past month. Also it really sucks having to play on Merge/Live when nearly all your play and success came from online the past 8 yrs or so.

Anyway since I've been back, my buddy Joe Tehan managed to bink another big score, this one for $300k, placing 3rd in a $20k epic tournament here in Vegas. It's always nice to rely on him to pay the bills...lol.

I guess he played a couple of hands very questionably to even bad and there was a lengthy thread about it on 2+2. What started out as a thread talking about those hands ended up turning into a prominent 2+2er (although I didn't know who he was) calling Joe a scammer. Since we know he's not, we had an issue w/ it and I intervened. What went on was a bunch of name calling (pretty much all from him), issues and acceptance of a hu4rollz challenge, and other entertaining and sometimes comical stuff.

Anyway here's the link if anybody wants a good read...


http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/87/high-stakes-mtt/joe-tehan-bubble-hand-epic-20k-1140559/

Also the following hu4rollz potential match (but unlikely to happen)...

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/87/high-stakes-mtt/joe-tehan-stealthmunk-hu4rollz-match-1142983/

Just thought I'd let everybody know I'll be presenting a webinar this Sunday at 2pm pst over at dailyvariance. The topic will be transitioning from online to live poker. I have spent many hours in both and I'll go over what I think are vital stuff when it comes to making that transition. This webinar will be fairly different than the video series I made...I'll be going over a lot more conceptual stuff and a bunch of new stuff as well. Here's the link....

http://www.dailyvariance.com/transitioning-online-to-live-poker/

The presentation will be an hr long then I'll be doing a Q&A after. Hope to see some of you guys there!

I've been following the Girah scandal like everybody else. I've read tidbits of threads in the forums and DIH's blog posts including his farewell from poker. I'm sure there is more than meets the eye (I, like everybody else would love to hear more from Jungleman, although his involvement seems innocent....so far).

I think CR did the right thing in letting DIH go. This is a business and CR needs to maintain a certain image/brand going forward. I don't know DIH, never met him, never spoke with him, but I do know from his writings and videos he's an intelligent guy and understands poker at a high level. With that said I try to reserve judgement until all the facts are out but it's hard to ignore all the dirt out there and DIH's involvement w/ Girah. It looks even worse now that he's "retiring" from poker.

Isn't this what Girah was saying he was going to do to avoid his scam going public? It makes you wonder what kind of stuff DIH was really up to and what else he might have done in the past. Again this is all speculation, but I'm somebody that tends to think everybody is a good guy until they show otherwise, and this seems otherwise.

I guess we may never know now w/ DIH leaving the poker world.

What troubles me a lot more is the scam Girah tried to pull. It's the magnitude of the whole damn thing. This kid was supposed to be the next Durrrr, was supposed to be one of the guys at the forefront of the next poker boom (when US legislates and regulates it). He was hyped up so much that even I bought into the hype (as I'm sure many others have as well). I followed some of his stuff, including interviews and strategy articles and even mentioned how great this kid was to others. Sure his knowledge was solid (doesn't look like his application of this knowledge in actual play was solid though) although DIH and others could've lent a helping hand here.

Even though the real victims are the guys that got scammed out of money, I feel like I got duped, and I think that's why a lot of people are angry, well actually it's the scam but I think you know what I'm saying. For somebody that hyped, well known, and revered to pull off such a disgusting scam (w/ trusting friends!) just sent ripples throughout the poker world and we are all affected in some way and will be so going forward.

I'm one of the most trustworthy guys around and for some reason I feel like the whole poker world lost a lot of credibility from one poker player to another, including me. Who won't have a hint of suspicion the next time somebody asks for a transfer, asks to sweat, or anything that deals w/ trust. Everybody will remember this and wonder if they're being "Girah'ed". After all, this kid was the golden boy (along w/ a couple of others) for the future of online poker. DIH and Jungleman vouched for this kid! (to be fair I'm not sure if JM did, although DIH certainly did).

Besides the scam, this is what irks me. Poker has come a long way in 10 years, believe me, I was playing fulltime 10 years ago and have seen the evolution. It was gaining a lot of credibility as an occupation. The negative stigma of poker players being gamblers, cheaters, etc. was fading. Even though the UB scandal, FT mismanagement, and lesser scandals hurt, poker was on it's way of being very acceptable (even in the US). Now this happens and arguably this is on the same level as the biggest scandals/setbacks for poker and poker players.

Where UB and FT created suspicion for other poker sites, this creates suspicion for other poker players, and this is what is most damaging about this whole scandal.

I was intending on talking about the launch of my new website but this thing is so big I thought I'd throw my 2 cents on it. Anyway I've launched my own live poker training site w/ my good buddy and very good poker player Joe Tehan (along w/ a couple of other great coaches) at

http://www.stackemcoaching.com/.

For those interested, use promocode STACKEM07 to get a free 3 day trial.

I will remain w/ CR because I have a good working relationship with them and because CR is more online poker and video based content than Stackem (feel free to go check it out to see what it is). I'm still planning on making some online poker videos here, maybe playing on Merge or doing leakfinders. Anyway I'll talk about my new site in more detail next time (damn you Girah!).

As I sit here and write this, I have tears flowing down the side of my face. I've encountered the toughest obstacle I've faced in my life up to this point. I guess I can be grateful that it took so long (38 years). The news was grim today as doctors told us my dad has 6 to 12 months left to live.

Shortly after the Wsop main event we found out my dad has stomach and liver cancer but did not know the severity of it until he had a biopsy done. The last couple of weeks were filled with fear and sadness due to uncertainty of my dad's official condition, yet clinging unto hope that the doctors would come back with news that somehow it's treatable and he would be able to beat it.

Well that hope is almost dashed out with today's news. I guess I'm trying to hope somehow someway my dad has a chance, any kind of chance, even though doctors are telling us there isn't. It's not just for me, heck I cry for my dad, I cry for my mom who has relied on my dad her entire adult life, I cry for my wife who is probably closer to my parents than me and sees my dad as her own, and I cry for my only daughter, 10 years old, who loves her grandfather like any child can. When I spoke to my dad after finding out he had cancer, he said he's at peace of living a long and fulfilling life of 69 years (maybe he was telling me this to ease my fear and sadness) but would like to have watched Nicole grow up and get married. I shed many tears thinking of that and will continue to do so.

I've been busy the last few weeks with the Wsop, a new start up poker venture, and dealing with my dad's health so I haven't had the chance to blog in awhile. Yet I feel like this is a good time to reflect on my emotions and express the thoughts I'm having. Yes I am forthcoming with my emotions but you can't blame me.

Knowing my dad's days are limited, I don't want to dwell on the negatives, I want to dwell on the positives. It's easy to curl up and go into a shell for awhile but what good will that do? I am a person of faith and I believe God has a purpose for everything. For those that follow me on twitter I said I believe in prayer and would welcome all those that wanted to do so for us. It is partially faith and partially self therapy that I write what I'm writing.

I comfort in the fact that my brother and I grew up to be good genuine honest people, and I give my parents all the credit for this. My dad knows this inside, even if he won't say it.

I got into poker full time 13 years ago and for a profession that had a certain type of stigma attached to it (over the years it's become a lot more acceptable and respectable) I managed to not only support myself well, but supported my wife and kid well. More importantly it didn't change me into a bad person, not one ounce. If anything it taught me how to manage money, how to work hard at something (and reap the rewards), and it gave a wonderful life to my family and me. My dad helped me in an indirect way by making me become the man I can be. And this I take comfort in.

Sure my parents were skeptical when I told them I was playing poker for a living in the beginning. After all, who's parents wouldn't, especially if they were religious, and especially if their son was already married with a newborn baby. It wasn't until a couple of years later they saw how well I was doing but more importantly how well I was taking care of my family, and not just from a financial perspective, and they started to come around. Eventually they became proud of their oldest son. They are proud of my brother also for other reasons. And this I take comfort in.

In poker we are ingrained with knowledge to seek and maximize ev. That's it. That will determine success. For a few that's all life is about. If that's you you are not living life. If that brings you utter and complete joy then perhaps you can argue you are living life, but you are not living a balanced life, which by all intents and purposes, is unhealthy. Also partying and drinking (or smoking pot) is not part of balancing life.

One thing I've prided myself in is living this balanced life, which almost to a degree seems like a myth for professional poker players. Even though I've lived this life I've made mistakes, I've been guilty of doing less desirable things, and I have regret of doing some things and not doing some things (nothing serious though).

With the news that my dad will no longer be with us within a year, I seek to change my life for the better. What I mean is that I want to live a life with meaning, with knowing that I went all out, with no regrets and that I gave myself the best possible life I could while doing everything I could to provide the best lives for those around me.

It'll be little things, medium things, and big things. Things like working out regularly, eating healthy (because God knows I haven't living in Vegas), attending church more often, spending more time with my kid, showing more affection for my wife, working harder in everything, cutting down my play time (eg video games and lurking 2+2), showing appreciation for those that deserve it, showing appreciation for the little things in life, and on and on.

I aspire big, not for others to see, but for myself to see. Sure it took a moving and sad moment in my life to drive me in this new direction, but again, I want to see the positives with today's news.

For those that read this, I challenge you to do likewise. I don't mean the things I mentioned for myself although you can certainly include them. Everybody has their own goals and things they'd like to achieve. Go achieve them. Start today. If you fall down, get right back up and keep going. Don't abuse anything (especially people) while doing so. Don't wait for a life changing moment to give you this epiphany (like me). Learn from me now.

Sure it's easy to say I'm realizing this in the face of mortality given my dad's condition. So what. I am right. The world would be a better place if we all aspired and sought action to maximize our lives and for others around us. In other words, live life to the fullest...don't think it, do it, just like I am doing from this point on.

All this I will tell my dad, and I'm sure it will bring a smile to his face. And this he will take comfort in.

So I've since gone 0-7 in Wsop events since my last update. I feel like I'm playing well, just running like crap. I'm 0-11 in all ins in the past week over 7 events. I ran into aces twice for my tournament life (once with queens, another with JTs where I 3bet shoved w/ a lot of dead money in the pot), lost 7 flips (yes I lost'em all), lost as a 3-2 fav, also got crippled in the $2500 10 game mix w/ JT95 ds (during plo round) when almost all the chips went in on a KQ96 ssxx board and my opponent w/ JJT7 (w/ 3 spades) rivers the flush, and I finally busted in a hand when I was behind today.

Well actually the hand played out where I opr ep w/ QQ to 350 at blinds 75-150, get a mp caller, flop comes 732r, I bet 450, mp raises to 1250, I call w/ about 2500 behind because I was pretty sure he was putting me all in on any turn card and if I shove flop he folds a lot of hands he was going to shove turn with, turn 6, I check, he shoves, I call, he rolls over 66, gg me. Maybe I could've shoved flop and won the pot there but I felt like there was more value in trying to let him bluff off or valuetown himself by just calling his raise.

Anyway I am still showing a profit due to having pieces of 2 friends that made final tables at the Wsop. I'm not too concerned about my own results because I'm very critical of my own plays and I feel like I'm playing very well but things aren't panning out results wise. That's poker for ya. Also we are only at the halfway point of the Wsop and all it takes is one deep run.

Also I can't feel bad because I have the best family in the world. Since I was going to be busy all weekend with the Wsop and a new venture I'm working on (announcement coming soon) my wife, kid, and their friends went to San Diego, California to explore LegoLand and whatever else is fun out there. Sure it's Father's Day today but I wanted my wife and kid to have fun out in San Diego. Plus my 10 year old kid left this for me, and I must admit this is about the coolest thing I've ever received in my life (birthdays and Christmas's included)... a montage of sorts, of my life (I scanned each page of the booklet she left me next to my bed)...


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Page 3 (sure she should've used "Accomplishments" but can't be too nitpicky)
























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Wsop bracelet or not, I win in life!