So. I've managed to get in 30 solid hours of poker so far this month. This seems to be a downgrade on the previous 18h/week I had been averaging prior to this. I've been playing mostly 200nl with a little bit of 400nl mixed in. I actually think the 400nl is softer. Well, it's not softer, but I just feel more comfortable playing against better players because I have certain assumptions in place, and those assumptions just work better and more often against players who aren't so nitty and understand when they are supposed to fold and what not. I guess this is going to seem like kind of a weak response to why I'm not doing particularly well in the 200nl games, but it's just how I feel. Oh and I'm also 4k under EV over the course of 23k hands. This would put me at +$800... Clearly not setting the world on fire. If I'm supposed to be up 5k though then I guess I can't really claim to be playing that badly.

I've been doing so poorly as far as putting in hours at the tables because I've just been really busy with basketball and some other goals I've recently set. I've actually been to the gym the last 13 days in a row for between 20 minutes to 1 hour per visit. I've never really done any kind of consistent work out in my life until just now. I never really had to before because I always seemed to stay in decent shape without needing to do it. I've just crossed the line and am now up there at ~210 pounds. I've never weighed this much and it just kinda hurts my self-esteem if I'm being honest about it. I hate going on those machines though, I call the ski-er machine I use the rat-mobile because I feel like a mouse running on a wheel when I'm doing it.

I've really been trying to cut down on my drinking too, but having such an addictive personality, it's pretty much impossible to quit one addiction and not pick another up to supplant it. In any case, at least I'm not drinking more than a beer a day.

My basketball team has it's first game this Thursday. I'm not expecting things to go well at all. Our team is pretty lousy and about 7 of the 11 kids on our team have never played organized basketball before in their lives. We have one kid who is an all star and has already been recruited to UAB to play basketball there, but he will only be here with us until December 20th then he ships out to Austin. After he leaves, we have a significant drop off in talent from him to our next best player. I actually won't be surprised if he scores 30 points a game for us. It's likely going to be a long and rough season, but at least I feel like I have something going on in my life for the first time in about 5 years. I guess that's a positive.

So I've done a lot of thinking about some of the responses to my last post, and about some of the things people have said to me since I wrote it. I'm a lot more clear headed now and I'm actually kind of embarassed that I seemed proud of what I was doing. Makes it pretty obvious that a lot of choices I was making were kinda dumb. This is life though, live and learn.

So I guess I have to start climbing back up the ladder now. I've been living off of my bankroll for the past 3 months and hardly playing any poker, so my bankroll has diminished a ton and I have pretty much nothing to show for it. I'm getting too old now to always be grinding 2/4 and to never move up. It seems stupid to do that when I've won >100k in the last 12 months at 5/10+.

I had a goal for like 3 1/2 years to break into the 5/10 games and be a regular because I thought then I would have financial security. I finally accomplished that and it seems like not much has really changed from when I played 2/4. What that tells me is just being a regular or winning at a solid clip in those games isn't enough. My hourly playing 5/10 isn't that much more than at 2/4, and that's because you need to have a massive bankroll to be able to play across multiple sites and game select @ 5/10+. Without having at least 20k on every site I play on (which still probably isn't enough) it just can't be done without constantly risking going broke. And the other thing is, when 10/20 or 25/50 runs, those games are generally MUCH softer than the 5/10 ones. Put this all together and it just means that it's time for me to grind like a madman and just save up the bankroll. I've done everything I could to avoid that as I have been feeling super burnt out lately, but now I just don't have a choice. I actually just checked and apparently I have been averaging 18 hours of play per week which is pretty pathetic. I should be putting in at least 30 a week, and probably more now that I'm going to have to drop back down to 1/2 as my bankroll is so low on each site.

Basketball season is starting in 3 weeks so hopefully being on a normal schedule will kick me into gear.

Oh yeah, lastly, I have one more video coming out sometime in the relative future and I think it's probably one of my most informative ones. I think I may end up taking an extended break at this point because I need to refocus on these other things I talked about above. I mean unless someone specifically comes to me with an idea that they want to work on, so probably it won't be until I've accomplished the goals I need to accomplish until I make a comeback in that arena. I'm kinda tired of everyone knowing how I play anyways, I think it finally might be now costing me more at the tables than I am profiting from making the videos.

A Gift or a Curse?


I just finished a coaching session. I'd say it was pretty successful. I asked the client after the session if there was anything he thought I might be doing that isn't the most conducive to him having a successful learning process, if there was anything I might be able to change--methodology or approach--in order for the experience to be better for him. His answers were no and that he felt he learned a lot from the session.

Half of the session consisted of him sweating me playing mostly 1/2 and 2/4NL (4-5 tables) with a little bit of heads up mixed in. I was about 6 beers and 3 norcos deep in the middle of all this. Once I wrapped up the session I ended coming up 3 1/2's buyins at 2/4. We concluded the session by going over the most interesting hands I played and after that I mentioned to him that I had been drunk the entire time and asked him if it bothered him. He said no and was actually surprised that I was able to speak my thoughts so clearly, logically and coherently while at the same time playing multiple tables and being under the influence.

This is just an example. This is the thing with me. I'm able to do this on a regular basis. It's gotten to the point where I'm sometimes waking up and I just start drinking or popping pills (I have no delusions, I realize I'm an alcoholic and a pill addict). I do all this while working roughly 15 hours a week and making somewhere in the ballpark of 80-150k a year (depending on variance).

What are the hindrances? I have retarded sleeping hours. For example, I woke up today at 8:30pm. I have nothing resembling a normal life, and I clearly have some rough addictions to some pharmaceuticals and to alcohol--It's a given at this point that I don't really expect to live passed the age of 65 (if I continue like this, AND I'm lucky). I rarely seem to go out anymore or to meet new people because of this lifestyle, but it's just so damn easy for me. It's so easy that it makes everything else--being a normal person within society SOOOOO hard.

Additionally, I live such a comfortable life that I have no motivation to put in extra hours of work in order to earn a big enough salary to be what a lot of people would consider a "baller" and I just feel super complacent with my station in life.

So which is it, a gift or a curse?

After my last post, a lot has happened. I mended the fences with my friend here in Scottsdale and he has really changed his attitude 100% to one where we will be working together in an atmosphere where he will be completely accountable and trustworthy. These things are #1 as far as importance to me in running a strong, legitimate program.

I want to thank all of you who have reached out to me after the last blog post, particularly those who have offered me a short term place to stay while traveling through Europe---somethign which I've decided I definitely want to do after the basketball season ends (roughly around May).

As far as needing your guys help, tryouts start in 3 weeks, and the season starts 5 weeks from today. My goal for raising money was to reach $1,000. After a lot of fundaraising already, I've reached $690, which is $310 away from my goal. I really need your guys help to reach that last $310 dollars.

My last blog post received 1500 views. If I was able to get $10 from 30 people (1 out of ever 5 viewers), I'd be able to reach that goal. The main reason for raising these funds is in order to purchase gym time for practices, uniforms, a video camera for recording games, referees for our games and buying into a tournament or two.

It's an under funded high school basketball team, the school is named Tempe Accelerated High, so it's both for gifted kids and for kids who have struggled with the administrative system and have screwed up but are trying to work their way through and get out with at least a GED. We are coaching their team and we require the funds because the school did not get a high enough enrollment for state funding to kick in.

I can accept money by the following means:

Carbon (ID - RxCowbell)
Cake (E-mail tk1983ap@hotmail.com)
Pokerstars (ID - iV.Geoffrey) -- A friend of mine who is willing to accept transfers and forward the money to me
Paypal (ID - Pjennings28@hotmail.com)
GDMP's
Amazon Gift Cards

Your help will be greatly appreciated, and I will be updating our teams progress over the course of the year within this blog. Any amount you might be able to help will mean something, even a couple bucks.

Thanks for your consideration.

Peter

It seems the only people in the world I truly thought were my friends are people I can't trust.

I set my next 6 months up based on the premise that trust was there.

Now I don't know what to do with myself, these seem to be my options:

A)Find a poker house to move into in Vegas and party it up

B)Buy a plane ticket to Europe and travel across the continent (would be my number 1 choice but I got no one to do it with and would hate to do it by myself)

C)Move into my parents house, grind like a madman for 8 months, then buy a house (Probably about ~500k) -- by far my least desirable choice

Which should I do?

This issue came up in a discussion regarding a video a pro released over at Leggopoker wherein an open seat became available immediately to the left of a fish, the pro left the table and rejoined in that particular seat.

The reason I want to bring attention to this matter is because a lot of people just don't understand that this behavior is straight up unethical.

A little over a year ago when I was becoming a reg in HS games with very small player pools this was something I myself had done. Another reg whom I had a lot of respect for became irate about it and at the time I just didn't think it was a big deal at all. As a player who was primarily a MSNL grinder this type of thing seemed fairly commonplace and not a big deal at all. In MSNL and more particularly SSNL, it's really not a big deal for the reason that the player pools are exceedingly large thus there are lots of fish at lots of tables and additionally, attempting to leave the table and rejoin before the seat gets taken by another player is difficult to do.

In HS games with small player pools, it is completely unacceptable to leave the table and rejoin to the left of a fish if the seat opens up.

There is a reason that when two regs start a table that they sit across from each other... Each has an equal chance of any fish joining the table landing on his left. It's a fair proposition. If immediately after a fish sat at that table and it happened to be to the left of the other reg, then you decided to quit the table and rejoin to get a better position on the fish in between him and the reg you started the table with, how often do you think this guy would want to start tables with you again in the future? It's flat out bad business. Not only does the fish see this behavior, but if it were to constantly occur, regs would be seat hopping ALL THE TIME.

The most obvious solution to this is for there to be an understanding amongst regs in games where the player pool is exceedingly small. I won't seat hop on you and I expect you to treat me with the same courtesy.

If this is something you are currently doing I highly recommend that you reconsider your actions regarding this matter as it is something really pisses me off, and if other people are doing it to you, it should piss you off as well.

There isn't really any point to this blog post, just been feelin pretty good lately and felt like sharing.

It always feels like poker skill/success is measured in money won. I just don't look at it like that at all. I was listening to Wiz Khalifa's album Rolling Papers for the first time and this track "When I'm Gone" really caught my ear. I liked the idea behind it and I definitely relate to it...

"I'm gonna spend it all//
Why wait for another day?//
I'ma take all this money I own//
And blow it all away//
Cuz I can't take it when I'm gone"



I haven't had anything like the success some people have had in poker, but I've made a lot of money for someone who wants to live the lifestyle I've chosen. I'm almost 6 years removed from college now, my chosen path in life is pretty clear, and I have to say this wasn't what I originally planned which is why it was a little difficult to come to grips with it at first, but now that I've accepted it, I am pretty satisfied with it.

For the last month I've been spending most of my days in bed poppin norco's, xany bars and alcohol. And my nights roaming the Pacific Beach streets hangin at some neighbor's and friends houses and walking down the coast.

I haven't had any responsibility in 5 years, I'm actually just now about to embark on my first actual adult responsibility, coaching a high school varsity basketball team. I'm movin out of San Diego for 5 months on the 31st and headed to Scottsdale Arizona. It'll be nice to have a little change of pace, but of course I wouldn't want too much of it.

I like not having responsibilities, I like not having stress or being rushed, I like having the time and money to just chill.

If I really wanted to bust my ass and work 40 hours a week, I think I could make a quarter mill a year, but what am I gonna do with all that money? I don't see any advantage to it, it'd be a very stressful time for me, and when I think about it, I'd probably blow it all just the same.

If you want to understand the remainder of what I'm going to say about it, read this post:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=28076476&postcount=1101

I just have to say that this makes a ton of sense and it appears pretty obvious IMO that Haseeb is reverse engineering his explanations based on the information we post.
I've watched almost all of his poker videos and have followed his blog for a long time. I've never seen him so unsure of why he chose to make certain decisions or said certain things. He is just an incredibly intelligent person and clearly he knows this is the case. Why does he keep claiming to have made such obvious blunders other than to cover up the truth?

Additionally, he doesn't seem to ever offer up any new information to help us at all. This seems so damning to me as if I were in the hotseat here I'd be responding to every reasonable question and trying to make my case known and clear (If you paid attention you'd notice Sauce did this and is no longer suspected of any wrongdoing whatsoever). The more he refuses to contribute to the thread regularly with any kind of information, the fewer lies he has to try to play catch up with.

I definitely agree with the decision Cardrunners made to end the relationship. It's so disheartening finding out how much shady stuff seems to go on in the HS poker world (especially now coming from someone like Haseeb who I honestly used to look up to). I guess this is why I feel the need to say anything at all, I looked up to him, and he has proven that he isn't a person worthy of that kind of praise. I've talked about this quite a bit wth d_zoo and his sentiments were that if you want to be a respectable/honorable person without being a super sick poker player (or massive bumhunter), it's probably going to be MSNL for life, I'm starting to agree.

When I first started 5 years ago I always had the goal to become a 25/50 reg, obviously it's a pretty unlikely feat and less than .5% of all poker players ever make it there legitimately (in the sense of using proper BR management, and consistently beating the games), but it seems a lot of the guys who have made it there and higher have not done so without finding creative ways to cheat by misrepresenting themselves (the things I'm talking about here are multi-accounting, teamplaying heads up over teamviewer, or creating a false persona in order to get action as I believe Haseeb has done).

I feel about 90% certain of what I've posted here and would bet on it being the case.

Whenever I write a blog post, I frequently check back to see the number of views they get. At one point I was averaging about 3k views per post. The thing is though, most of you never make a comment or anything. It's very strange for me because I put a bunch of personal stuff up here, and apparently there are a bunch of people reading about it who never make themselves known.

I'm interested.

Who Are You?

I'd like to know.

Since it appears fairly unlikely I'll be making the move out of the country in order to continue playing online (however it's still possible), I've made a conscious decision to actually work on my live poker game. This is something I've never really concentrated on much at all mostly for the reason that I can't stand card rooms or sitting at a poker table for extended lengths of time.

In any case, that's not what this post is about. If you guys haven't been watching the ESPN coverage of the WSOP ME this year I highly suggest that you DVR it and spend some time studying the footage. Personally, I almost never watch any kind of televised poker. It's generally just not even close to being interesting enough to keep my attention, however, there has really never been anything like this done before as far as televised poker. I think there are still some kinks in the system they are using but they are getting closer and closer to making it an outstanding show. A few notable things stand out: none of the hole cards are shown until after the hands have finished, they have removed Norman Chad from the commentators booth and replaced him with Antonio Esfandiari, and they are beginning to move their focus away from watching all in pots preflop over and over towards focusing on more in depth analysis and most particularly postflop play.

I'll be the first to say that historically I've been nothing but extremely critical of a lot of name live "pros" abilities. You probably know the usual suspects here, guys like Daniel Negreanu, Phil Hellmuth, Erick Lindgren and Phil Laak to name a few. And it's not to say that I still don't think the technical aspects of their games are to say the least, lacking. But I really don't think this about Antonio at all. I'm just now seeing this whole other side to the game that I originally had surmised was just smoke and mirrors and wasn't actually real. What I'm talking about here is the ability to pick up a tell on someone and to be able to gauge the strength of their hand based on their mannerisms, body positioning, table talk, facial expressions, etc. After watching about an hour of the show and listening to Antonio's reads on some of these situations, I still think there are a few technical aspects that he falls a little short on, but it just appears to me that this other ability affords him quite ample room to make a few technical mistakes as they are made up for ten-fold by his people reading skills. I could notice myself actually improving as I watched the show, so yeah, I really think it's great and I recommend anybody who is looking to play live poker, even just semi-professionally would have a lot to gain from watching and studying it.

I happened to have been at a live poker table earlier today and thinking back through some of the hands I played, actually the majority of them, I can't even remember looking at my opponent at all. I'm always so focused on betting patterns, board textures and bet sizing that I can probably surmise at this point that I have likely been giving away a bunch of information that I really hadn't even realized (and/or I have missed a bunch of free information made available to me by other players). It's quite a wake up call for me and makes it pretty obvious why my live results up to this point have been pretty mediocre. I really hope this can keep me interested enough to continue playing until legislation to legalize online poker passes because if I had to make a list of the top things not to do, getting a real job would be in the top three and as it is live poker feels so much more like a chore than anything else. I guess we'll see what happens.