Once upon a time, my parents got a Nintendo 64 for Christmas, and a few video games with it. These were my FIRST video games; I hadn't previously cared about video games at all. Almost immediately I became ENRAPTURED by them, and played them for hours on end. In the beginning I really wasn't very good however, while I noticed my dad was much better. I once truly thought that I could NEVER be as good as he was, and this seemingly impeccable truth deeply hurt me.

Well, turns out I was wrong, VERY wrong in fact--now vice versa seems to be the case.

This thought has reoccurred to me on multiple occasions (usually with other nerdy things), but on multiple occasions, what I perceived to be the truth was in fact far from it. There was a time when it occurred to me with poker also: the summer of 2007. Around that time I was REALLY into poker, but unfortunately could hardly ever find a game. So I started playing .5/1 and 1/2 with a somewhat shady group of characters... and subsequently lost over 3k over the months of that summer, losing virtually every time. In between this, I read and reread articles and books on poker in belief that, knowing I was intelligent and not marginally so, I could one day master the game. At one point I genuinely felt that my efforts were useless, and my money lost in vain. Nevertheless I kept playing, unable to relinquish myself from the grasp poker had on me (degen?). Late in the summer my parents froze my savings account (the main source of my gambling funds), and still I played being loaned money from one of the regulars. In order to pay off debts as well as fund my endeavor, I started working...at MCDONALDS (FULL-TIME).

I actually could have easily gotten a much better job (good grades at magnet school, very high test scores, even previous experience), but I wanted the money somewhat fast. After my first couple pay checks I pay back the guy that I owe money to, and he "helps" me start an online account. Since he doesn't have a debit/credit card, I use my card to deposit money on his account, and then later to deposit on my account (oops)... With what remained in my checking account, I started playing online, roughly late August, 2007.

I started off with 5-10$ sngs. Needless to say, I went broke with my first couple deposits (~250 $), but I was much happier playing these stakes than losing at .5/1+. Unfortunately, school was starting, so I could no longer work full-time--gambling would have to wait. Then, I found 200 $ in my account that did not seem to be able to exist, and deposited 70 of it online... A few weeks later, my account is overdrawn 70 $, BUT I have nearly 450 $ online! Finally, I was winning!

One day, I find that I can't login on FT. FT emails me, saying that they are closing my account because I have more than one, with the other one being that of the guy that I owed money to. FT says they will give my account back if I verify my identity, but unfortunately I turned in my only ID (driver's license) to the DMV just a week previously! Sonofabitch!

It will take me another month before I get my license back and am able to play on FT again...