Well, I cashed at an abnormally high rate today. I also got 3rd in the Turbo Fiddy on FTP for 2.1k. I actually think I played really shitty today for the most part. I'm going to pull an all-nighter tonight because my sleep schedule is getting screwed up again.

I watched a tonnnnnnnn of hilarious videos just now, so I figure I might as well share them.

This video is pretty sick. It does bring an interesting point to attention though, and that point is that everything is funnier when accompanied with Benny Hill music. Don't believe me? Monitor your reaction to the part that has music and then compare it to the part that doesn't.

All I can say about this one is LOL. Seriously, if you don't laugh when you watch this then you can't be human. If I was the guy he pulled over then he'd seriously end up beating the shit out of me with his night-stick because I would be laughing uncontrollably.

If I was this guy I would have immediately bowed my head and ran out of the store. That must have been one spick-n-span window.

I imagine that every father prays for something like this when they have to go watch a play their child is forced to do by their school.

This kid, for some reason, decides it would be cool for him to video himself doing curls. Enjoy.

This asshole gets owned by an old lady. Those skater kids must have loved that. I imagine they laughed and heckled that dude until he went on a rampage that led to him running a stop sign and getting T-boned.

I really, really, really, really, really feel bad for this guy. However, that doesn't stop me from laughing my ass off every time I see this video. He got hit in the dick so hard that his shoe flew off. How many times are you ever going to see someone get hit in the balls so hard their shoe flies off? Not too many.

So, each Sunday Stars bumps up the guarantee of their $55 80k guaranteed tournament to 125k gtd. Well, today the field got huge and the prize pool ballooned to almost 200k. I had the chiplead with 26 or so left, I think. Then when the final table bubble came I had 18 big blinds at the 15k/30k level. All is good, we have a nice re-steal stack and should make it to the final table with no hassle, right? Well, I proceeded to go 9-high for 36 hands (what a sick final table bubble) with the exception of pkt 6's once utg. Finally, it gets folded to me in the small blind with approximately 9BB. I look down at KQo, obv shove get called by K9o. GOOD FUCKING GAME.

It was so frustrating. I am pretty sure that was the first time KQ has ever lost in the history NLHE. First place was 25k and that pot would have shot me up to 5th in chips. I think 10th paid a little over 1k, so it wasn't a bad result. However, it was most certainly a disappointing result because I am 100% sure I was the best player left in the field.

I've ran like shit on Full Tilt since getting 3rd in a $75 18k Gtd tourney for 2.5k or so. One fine example was tonight in the 50-50. I raise 3x UTG with AQo at the 50/100, and it gets folded around to the BB. He decides to snap call it. Flop comes down a beautiful Q65. I bet and get insta-jammed on (I only had 34BB to begin the hand), so I call and see the bad news. The obvious thing to say here is that the guy had a set. Wrong. I was facing a true first-rate expert who had called me with Q5 soooooooooted. Obviously, I fell victim to 15th level thinking. For those of you unfamiliar with that concept, 15th level thinking is where your opponent is aware of both your hole cards and what the flop is going to bring before it even happens. You might ask "how do you know this guy was on that level?" To that my answer would be, "I could tell just by his screenname." His screenname was Matusow-4prez, so this guy defenitely was capable of being a super genius-psychic hybrid. I didn't even bother to OPR him to check on his ROI/stats because I feared my head would explode at the sheer awesomeness of his abilities.

Let me mention something else, I HATE THE NEW BLOGS. Can someone please tell me how to format my entries now? These things end up looking like a 4th grade book report.

Jay

So, I played like shit today, and when I did pull it together for a short amount of time I would get sucked out on. I think the main reason I played so horrible today were 2 beats I took. The first one came in the Stars 11r where I got KsKd aipf vs. JcJh for ~80BBs flop comes AQJ all spades and I fail to get there. The next one came in the $55 50k guarantee on stars for a huge 140BB pot that would have made me the chip leader a little past halfway to the 2nd break. In that hand I managed to get AA vs. QQ aipf and was 19-1 to double up after the turn, but I'll be goddamned if that wasn't the 1 time in 20 I lose that hand.

Normally these don't phase me that much, but I was playing very good at the time and was very focused then all of a sudden those 2 things happened and it was as if Stars said "HHAHA! FUCK YOU".

I'm still in 2 tdonkaments though, and with pretty huge stacks to boot. I also seem to be regaining focus, so maybe I can pull it together and today won't end up as shitty as it has been thus far.

Another thing I'd like to ask here: is any one else completely tired of seeing Ohio State getting exposed? I'm not sure how to place blame on this one, but it seems so wrong to me for sportscasters and "experts" to rank them so high year-in and year-out just so a real team can come along and completely destroy the spirits of their players. Even the one year they truly looked like an impressive team with a Heisman winner (2 years ago) they got absolutely demolished by an SEC team for the national championship. What's worse than that? There was debate about whether or not that team was the best in the SEC. They ended up beating OSU like 432 million - 1 or something. So I'm pleading with these experts: DON'T LEAD THESE PEOPLE ON ANYMORE.

Anyways, I promised you guys some cool shit to look at like I had been leaving before my hiatus. So, without further adue:

Hot Twins. Not sure that one needs any further explanation, but it's a list (with pictures) of the 10 hottest twins.

In what can only be described as a moment of pure genius, this guy decided it would be a good idea to get piss-your-pants drunk before competing in the high jump.

I love sports, what guy doesn't? I also love females, what guy doesn't?. So, it's only natural that I (and most of you) love hot sportscasters.

These girls are so hot that I'm not totally convinced that they're real.

This dude makes Mr. Miyagi look like a total pussy when he teaches his two young grasshoppers how it is done.

Midgets... wrestling.

Man, I love hidden cameras.

One word: AWKWARD.

This idiot decides he's going tubing in bacteria filled flood water.

In honor of "Disaster Movie" getting destroyed by critics, here is a list of serious disaster movies that make people want to make fun of them.

And, today's educational video. It's never too late to learn a new language.

-Jay

So, in case you were wondering, I'm not dead. Yay for that. Sorry for the lack of updates; my laptop screwed up and my old desktop is a piece of shit, so I decided to eradicate that problem and buy 2 new ones. As for poker, I finished last month +>6k, and I'm +~5.5k so far this month in donkaments. Things are going pretty good I guess you could say. I've decided that in addition to the links I usually leave for you I'm going to start leaving my most interesting hand of the day on here to try and generate some discussion. I'm not going to do it right now because I have a bunch of tourneys starting soon, but I will probably update later with some cool shit for you guys to look at.

Jay

So, later today I'm leaving for Bristol. I'm going to go watch the NASCAR Sprint Cup Sharpie 500. My friend got us tickets, and if you've ever been to a NASCAR race you know they're fucking awesome. So, needless to say, I'm pretty pumped about that. My friends and I pretty much just drink our asses off whenever we go to sporting events/concerts/vacations, so don't expect pictures. However, I will probably take my laptop, so you can expect a trip report.

Also, Team USA plays its semi-final game vs. Argentina today. I'm pretty pumped about that too. It shouldn't be a good game, but that's a good thing. I'm watching women's Ping Pong right now, and, I have to admit, it's pretty entertaining. I assume that the U.S. gets completely owned in Ping Pong, so that probably explains why I can't pronounce any of the players' names.

As far as poker goes, nothing major has happened again today. I've finished in the black today with mincashes, so I think that means I'm playing well and getting in situations to go deep. Also, I just read that the $55 80k Guaranteed on Stars is going to be 125k Guaranteed every Sunday from now on. That's ri-fuckin'-diculously awesome. Stars is so sick. It seems like (as far as tournaments go) every once in a while Stars feels the need to go, "Hey Full Tilt, this is how it's done, son."

Speaking of ri-fucking-diculously awesome, here are some links of completely hilarious lists/videos if you have the time to read/watch them (if not, I suggest you make time):

Unnecessary Censorship: Sesamee Street Edition. More than likely, if you're a Jimmy Kimmel fan, or a YouTube junkie, you've seen this. I put this here because it's one of my favorite clips and for you unfortunate souls who have not seen it yet.

Here are 6 sports that could (should) be in the next Olympics. Yes, they're all officially deemed as 'sport' by the IOC, so it is entirely possible that they could be featured in the Olympics one day. Ah, that'd be the day.

They teach this shit in college? Really? These classes seem to have the same educational value of sitting in a desk facing another person sitting in a desk while simultaneously flinging monkey (or any other funny animal) shit at one another.

Two Words: Midget Videos. 'Nuff said imo.

Kellie Pickler on 'Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?' For Kellie, the answer to that question is, "No." However, for Kellie, the answer for the question "Are you smokin' hot?" is "yes".

Here's a guy who mistakenly took this underground pit fighting competition for an underground pit dancing competition. I think the word that best describes what happens in this video truly is "owned".

This is further proof, if you needed it, that TIger Woods is better than you. This video isn't funny, but it is very cool.

If you're anything like me you have wondered, "is there anybody in the world who plays the tuba that is actually cool?" I've finally found the answer, and that answer is "yes".

This is here for those of you who do not know what a FUPA is. This is also here for those of you who think my blog isn't educational.

Jay

Hey guys,the past couple of days have been pretty boring. Couple of mincashes here and there, nothing major. I was playing bad earlier, and it was weird because I'd accumulate a big stack early almost always and then punt it away by convincing myself to make stupid plays against stations/donks/fish. A bunch of 8 o'clock tourneys are about to start up and I'm feeling pretty good about them. I'm also open to suggestions on which site to put money on and try for the Triple Crown, so please leave some feedback.

I have a pretty twisted sense of humor and I frequent a bunch of sites on the internet that not a lot of people do, and occasionally they're fucking hysterical. Here are a few links you guys might enjoy

www.cracked.com/article_16556_15-images-you-wont-believe-arent-photoshopped.html - This is a list from one of my favorite websites. For those of you who have trouble reading links that you click on, it's 15 pictures that you won't believe aren't photoshopped along with a little anecdote for each one.

www.doubleviking.com/videos/page0.html/steven-segal-is-a-wise-man-10053.html - This is a clip of Steven Segal in his mind-blowing awesomeness. The man really is nuttier than squirrel shit, and I sincerely hope he doesn't read this.

www.doubleviking.com/videos/page0.html/charles-manson-is-the-scat-man--10030.html - This is Charles Manson. There's a fine line between a lunatic and a nut. To steal a phrase from the late George Carlin, a lunatic will kill 12 men and not feel remorse. A nut, on the other hand, will kill 12 men wearing a fucking bunny suit. Charles Manson might be the only man in history to be both a lunatic and a nut. This is a hilarious clip.

www.comedy.com//embed/how-to-end-a-one-night-stand - Who hasn't been in this situation? I usually try to duck out in a covert manner immediately after the sex is over, but this dude has it figured out so that you can sleep afterwards and then smooth shit out in the morning. Both guys and girls should take note here.

The next 3 clips are from a Gilbert Gottfried stand-up comedy show. Before you scoff, let me tell you this: I used to think that Gilbert Gottfried was one of the biggest douche-bags on earth. Then, about 4 months ago I noticed this was OnDemand, so I said fuck it and watched it. It changed my entire view of the man. He is truly one of the funniest people alive (if you can stand his voice).

www.youtube.com/watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtXwxhsJbTo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onvfZbatGKs&feature=related

Jay

So, if you guys have been reading my blog lately you've noticed that I've had a pretty good week. I have shipped 2 tournaments so far this week for a little over 7k. It feels good because both wins have a little bit of significance to me. The Stars win was my first win on Stars, and the FTP win was my first win on FTP in like 2 months. My roll on Tilt is once again comfortable, so that is definitely a plus. I feel like I'm playing great right now. I had pretty high expectations going into the FTOPS KO event, but left disappointed. Needless to say, this win kind of made up for that disappointment.

I've played a couple tourneys already today and busted. Pretty standard stuff like QQ

Jay

So, I just shipped the $26 buy-in 11.5k Guaranteed on FTP. Second leg of the Triple Crown is knocked down, 1 more to go! SHIP IT!!! First paid 3.6k

Probably chill out for a bit and watch a movie/ poker videos or something. Then, back to grinding the night away.

Jay

So, I just busted out of FTOPS 24. I got 3 KOs, but went card dead. Every time I'd 3bet light I'd get snap shoved on by people who weren't capable of doing it light. Of course my bust hand was AA, AA

That is all for now, I'm going to try to put in some more volume today and run good.

Jay

Michael Phelps did it. Big shocker there. Team USA (basketball) made Spain wish they were on a soccer field, but "experts" say there is still doubt. Usain Bolt is probably quicker than an actual lightning bolt. They just said on Sportscenter that his 100-yard dash time of 9.69 without wind resistance would equate to a 3.5 40-yard dash time. UN-BELIEV-ABLE.

People can talk all they want about Team USA's playmakers, offense, etc. But, if you haven't noticed, their defense has absolutely stole the show by smothering every opposing offense so far. Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh have played great. Let me state this: Dwyane Wade (one of the three best basketball players on the planet) and Chris Bosh don't start on this team. How sick is that team? Wow.

The Yankees showed a spark of life today (finally). In case you didn't see, they won in 13 with a walk-off hit. Hopefully they can turn this thing around and contend. Right now they're closer to last place than they are first place in the AL East. Needless to say, that's very disappointing. I don't get YES network anymore because Charter sold out to Suddenlink here, so I don't get to watch as many Yanks games as I used to. It sucks pretty bad imo.

It's almost 6 a.m. here on the east coast and I have a couple tourneys going. Pretty good stacks in both as of right now (it's early). My sleep schedule is FUBAR'd, so I'm just going to all-night it and play FTOPS 24 at 2 p.m. today. I hope I can do the run good and make a nice score. I suspect this thing will reach almost maximum entrants, so I suspect first place to be north of 100k. I have been running like complete shit on FTP, so I think I'm due. After I finish up these tourneys I'm just going to watch videos all night and review some HHs to sharpen my game and/or plug some leaks. I have only been here for about a month, so there are plenty of MTT videos I haven't watched that are still here.

I really need to ship something on FTP to bolster my roll on there. My Stars roll is comfortable, but Tilt is not quite there. If I win a tourney on FTP then I'm going to try and get some funds on UB to try for the Triple Crown. After that, however, UB is done. I might actually try it on Bodog instead of UB if I can get step 2 out of the way. I'll have to look at both of their tourney schedules/structures and talk to some friends about the quality of play on both sites (I suspect it's pretty subpar overall). Not sure why I'd like to complete a Triple Crown, but it is one of my goals.

Well, guys, I'm going to close this thing up so I can focus on my tournaments. I'll come back and blog some updates after the FTOPS event.

Jay