After just reading Kara's blog I can agree with a lot of about what she talked about.

In poker we talk about not being results oriented, not caring if we lose or win today, we know we made money in the long run. Why is it not the same for life? Why should we care what the results are in the short term with things like quotas. If we can become unattached to the results of the goals we set, we can't ever fail since we are constantly moving towards that goal.

With that said, I am rapidly coming to peace with some of the things I have talked about here. I mentioned my mom is a narcissist and how also have some traits of one. While this was hard to accept and realize that I will never get my childhood back, I have done something that I think is incredible.

I have forgiven both Vickie (my mom) and my dad. When I say forgiven I mean that I cannot put any blame on either of them. They were trying the best they could. They had no clue they were raising their son to have zero self esteem and respect for himself. I am not a victim of anything happening in my life, while I may have to give up my family for true happiness, I am not a victim. I have the power to change my life.

For the first time in a long time, I am acting authentically in many areas of my life. I act and behave only for myself. Many people tell me I seem more relaxed or just different. Its quite refreshing to be happy knowing I am putting my happiness first regardless of the situation. All I care about is making sure that I am constantly happy.