Life is pretty interesting I have found after the aftermath of my loss. I experienced tremendous growth, probably more than anyone I know has experienced in the course of a few months. I redefined how I look at life in many aspects

Loss
Anger
Nutrition
Sleep
Clothes/Style
Finances
Love
Time

Probably some others I am forgetting, more or less insane growth and change. I am slowly coming full circle with this as I near the time I will be finalizing my plans to leave the US and finally tell my parents of my new profession.

However sometimes all good things must end or at least stop. The last week or two I went through a lot of stress which affected my game as well my as my life in general. I tend to think a lot, I mean a lot when I am stressed to the point of not sleeping. Its pretty amazing to go from being almost inner peace to pure chaos again. It really puts things into perspective when I really think about why I am stressed.

I realized that I was not doing things for myself and was doing lots of things that caused stress. I mentioned earlier that I was changing my style and purged my wardrobe. This has been the most challenging change yet since there are so many stigams attached to a male that cares about how he looks in the US. Another reason I am pretty done with this ridiculous country and its ideals. More or less I have no desire to wear clothes that don't fit me well at all anymore, I have actually respect for myself and I deserve better than that. I guess my point is that change can be hard if you want validation from others and thats not why I am doing this, nonetheless it can really make you think twice. You really have to do it for yourself and not anyone else. Thats why change can be so hard and stressful if you are not confident in who you are or your decisions.